Is it normal to spank him..

O and by the way I am a mother of six children and pregnant again due in september, My oldest son is 9. And I hardly ever spank my kids. My two oldest boys have a different father and the guy im with now is my BF the father of my other children. I made it very clear to him when we first got together six years ago that if it came to my two boys(who are not his kids)that he should talk to me first before he took any kinda action on my boys. He respects that and he never get involved dont get me wrong he loves them to death and takes them places but when they act up he tells my boys YOUR MOM WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS. I dont hit my kids but I do make them listen to me. Maybe you should talk to your BF and see what he thinks of you spanking his child.

Keep in mind that you want to be more of a parent to the child, not their friend. When a parent yells or spanks a child, it's because they love them and want them to know right from wrong. They care about them. Discipline is all out of love.

Sometimes you just can't go by the book. There's a lot of things that people are against now, but 20/30/40 even 50 years ago worked brilliantly. I think people oughta start bringing back some of the old fashioned ways, and maybe nobody would have problems. Things would be more at peace, and kids as well as teens, who run amock wouldn't be so fresh towards their elders. You can't be too lenient or else your own children will be running you instead of you running them.

Think about it this way... Would you like someone else laying their hands on a child that came from you and is your own flesh and blood? Probably not... Some people believe that spanking is wrong. I don't think it is right to harm or hurt any living thing, especially a young helpless human being... That you "love but hit" how confusing..... No wonder there are so many abusive relationships. I would respect the mother and stop spanking the child! There are other ways to deal with his bad behavior.

I was spanked as a child. Even in diapers my mom popped mine and my bros behinds. Why? Through a diaper it doesn't hurt...it's more the shock than anything. Kids have no real sense of time so timeout and taking stuff away doesn't always work. Also, if you take something away 9 times outta 10 the kid forgets about it anyway or would have lost or broken it anyway so it's not a real punishment. When a kid gets older and starts to understand disappointment in mom and dads voice and be bothered by it then ok, but until then the only real thing is a physical consequence - think the rubber band on the wrist that adults use to break bad habits. Should spanking be the first reaction - no. A parent can go overboard and should keep themselves in check, but should it be employed when appropriate? Yes. I do not have a tendency towards violence and I love my parents dearly. My mom is now my best friend. My bro is the same. If Ur lucky enough to have a kid thy responds to verbal reprimands and time-out only...awesome. But I see kids all the time that would not be the disrespectful kids they are if they had a firm hand at home.

spanking is dumb

Do it, just dont let it get out of control... Honestly white people dont know how to teach... Many just sen their kids to their room and ground them an thats it, but thats not gonna work. You can see many International parents spanking their children, and they grow up to be nicer and not as spoiled as these white kids nowadays

I totally agree babe20134. Spanking is not abuse..unless u have marks and bruises then that's a problem! Spanking isn't my first choice.but its certainly my last if needed!

Even if he was your biological son, I would still be against spanking him. There are always better ways of disipline than spanking, if that is your only method of disiplining him then you won't built up a good relationship with him when he's older.

I think it's ok to treat him as your own and even better to do so.

first of all you shouldnt spank him! are you trying to get him taken away by cps too? because they will! If you are spanking him you are no better then his mother. There are other ways to teach kids whats right and wrong. spanking them only teaches them its ok to hit people. Its violence! dont teach him that.

Baby doll are you stupid??They can't take your child away if it's discipline it's only abuse if it leaves a long lasting mark.Spanking would not be my first choice but if it's working use it and it's totally ok even if he's not your biological son

I think spanking should be used if ONLY NECESSARY! I know people will always have their disagreements on it. But you know what i was spanked as a child and i today, love my mother and dont blame her for doing it or cry about it today. If talking doesnt work, and taking things away doesnt work, where do u go next?? they mostly get the point with spanking.NOT abusing.there is a difference to me.

There are two elements to this question.

The first is whether or not spanking is okay as a means to discipline children. That's not something that will get settled here...

The second is, do you as the stepmother have the right to discipline your stepchild in such a manner, assuming that spanking is okay in general. To that i would say, it depends. At this point you are his de facto mother so you certainly should discipline him (as well as provide the love and affection of a mother).

Depending on specifics, since at this time there is still some degree of instability int he situation, I would take heed from the father and event he biological mother. If neither of them want you to use physical punishment, I would hold off. However, insofar as you are his stepmother and will soon be married to the father, I say it is normally to spank him.

It's not bad because you're not his birth mom, it's bad because spanking doesn't help anything long-term. It just teaches him to hit when he disapproves of something. (My parents spanked me as a child, and I remember at age four spanking the toddler next door because she drew on my sheets with crayon. I thought it was what I was supposed to do.) Find other, more mature ways to discipline. It's not supposed to be quick or easy. Deal with it.

I don't mean to disrespect all the people who are against spanking, but I really don't think its that bad. I feel like there's a reason they do a little slap on the butt(it's the most cushioned spot on the body) and not anywhere else. If they really were an abusive jerk who wanted to really teach a child a lesson, don't you think they would do something a little bit worse then a little spank on the butt?

I think if it were a belt or wooden spoon that would be worse... that would be considered something to call cps about. I remember my parents had scare tactics, where they'd say they would get the wooden spoon out, or my dad would get his belt, but they never used it, but they did spank me with their hand.

I don't think people who spank their children do it with the intent to really hurt them.

As much as I agree about the spanking issue goggle: mother charged with spanking child. A mother recently gave a simple spanking in public and she had to go to trial. She was found guilty (I believe she received probation and parenting classes) and the judge went off on a tangent about how it was 2011 and you are no longer allowed to spank your children. I thought his remark was ridiculous but it proves the point about it being ok to spank your children wrong. Even though many of us don't consider it wrong some officials disagree.

Thats true i wish i could just talk to my step son and him listen to me the first time instead of the 100x! but u know i give you props for handling them the way u do but there is some kids that are just more misbehaved. I dont like spank him everytime he does something wrong, just when i feel i need to go that route. My BF tells me to Spank him if he dont listen to me he has my back 100 percent i at first said No i dont want to spank him i feel bad he told me No you need too! if he dont listen then u, need to discipline him or he never will and walk all over you. I still hate doing it but if i have too, i have too sadly. and if i do take that route, he still loves me and knows the reason why i did it and doesnt do it again!

Forgive me if im wrong but I got cps and cops called on me for just smacking my son on the butt with my hand. And I didnt leave any marks either but no one cared they acted like I was beating him! You might be right leaving marks is abuse but cps dont care, they still visit me and drop by my house like I really did something wrong! If that makes me stupid then I guess I am stupid.

If he is in your care then yes you should be enforcing discipline. However, perhaps try other techniques besides spankings and you might get better results.

Spanking is not that big of a deal. There's a line you shouldn't cross when it comes to disciplining a child, but spanking wouldn't be crossing that line. I got spanked as a child, and if anything, it made me more afraid to do whatever I did wrong again b/c I knew I would get spanked for it.

Soccer..point well made. Its not a first choice but def. A option. And tylee. I understand what ur saying, but he's in my total care, and I feel if he's in my total care..then I need to take him in as my own. Also I would never be put in that position, because I would never lose my child from drugs or alcohol. That's on her..and maybe if she was a good mom,and see him more. then I would give her some respect. As for spanking, it seems you see it as abuse. The spanking is not abusive, its only showing authority and gaining the childs respect if not he will walk all over me. Which he still thinks he can do at times.