Is it normal to simply want to die?

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Is it normal to just want to be dead? Not because of self-loathing, not because of hating another. Wanting to die because I find that there is absolutely nothing worth living for. Or that, whatever there is worth living for, will never be attainable, so why bother?

Just recently, I realized life is filled with those little but ever recurring moments of shit. Moments of crap that vary from person to person. Before, what kept me going on is the possibility my future held. I'm a college student with a major, with fellow aspirants and dreamers for the future. But here I am, alright and hoping that one way or another, I'd just die. I was like them before, dreaming that I'd be able to change the world. Hoping to at least make some difference in it. I live in the Philippines, attending it's best university. And I wanted to be someday, someone renowned for bettering the country's education by holding office. But that was before. I know for a fact that I will never achieve the change I want. I know as well that the people around me won't change anything.

I know the world will never change in its twisted ways. Why should I go on struggling to remedy the ill that's inevitable? Maybe, if one day, I wake up to the light of a different world, I'd want to live. Maybe then, I'd have a chance.

So, I ask you, is it normal to just want to die? Thinking there is no point to it all. I will never be the one who'll end poverty. I will never be the one who'll change the lives of millions. What I'll most likely be, is a frustrated moron, wondering why, of all the millions dying everyday, I'm still alive. I'm like this because I can't just settle, especially after knowing the endless possibilities out there.

Is It Normal?
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  • throat_cutter
    11 years ago | pl

    lets see your long swan like neck....SLAAAASHHH.! Ha jk jk

    but on a serious note if i may so humbly add...there are some things you cannot change, and there is no need to want to kill yourself over it, op

    although i am atheist, i find comfort in this...there could not be anything more beautiful than these words:

    "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference"

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago | pl

    It's not normal, but I've been there. I used to think it was my responsibility to end people's suffering, and that if I couldn't, living was useless.

    Have you considered talking to a doctor or therapist about this? It's difficult to ask for help at first, but it can really help. If you're comfortable with taking medication, a psychiatrist may prescribe you antidepressants, which can help a lot with recovery, but if you're not, therapy without medication can also be really useful. If you need to talk to anybody, or if you have any questions about what depression treatment and recovery is like, feel free to message me. I'm not a doctor, but I've been through it, and I'd be happy to tell you about my experiences.

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  • wiosnapodarek
    6 years ago | pl

    I can totally relate to this.

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  • mommabear9599
    7 years ago | pl

    This statement isn't an encouragement to just finish it all, but I know all too well what you feel. Everyday. I have people to live for and that, at my VERY best, I could provide a wonderful life to. My self, however, is wilting and there seems to be no resurrection on the horizon. Many times, I have been here before...to loathe life and wish for the morning that I don't wake up. Even in the midst of beautiful creatures that depend on me. I am not happy. Maybe its a medication issue, but I honestly think that I have discovered that we are all destined to die, destined to end our life. Those with optimism may take this and try to live each day to the fullest, but if you don't want to even get up then what is one more day????

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  • Swan_Theif9854
    8 years ago | pl

    Yeah it's normal. Despite what people tell you, many people admit to feeling this way and even more think it privately. At least you're a college student. I'm living in one of the most unemployed states in America. I dropped out of college for my own stupid reasons. I never was very good at making friends. As a matter of fact I'm currently pending on how and when I wish to end my pitiful existence. My advice to you. You're only one person. If it's good to the world that you wish to do. Go by random acts of kindness. Odds are you'll make someone's day, they may even remember your actions for the rest of they're lives. Is it normal to want to die? Yeah it's normal just very secretive.

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  • fluffybunnie
    11 years ago | pl

    Yes its completely normal but please don't kill yourself simply because you will be wreaking other peoples lives if you do Xx

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  • InstagramCoOl
    11 years ago | pl

    dude. right on. if you are going to die in the future, why not just die right away? so you dont get any sadness or happiness. its very normal.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago | pl

    “Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone’s got to take care of all your details.”
    ― Andy Warhol

    Never underestimate the power of positive thought. I think you can be the change you need, that your country needs. Please don't give up, we need more people like you.

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    • Mayris
      11 years ago | pl

      Easier said than done. Don't worry though, I'm still alive. And, personally, I don't believe I need to be positive to get things done.

      I'm a pessimist, but as far as I know, I give the same results as the next optimistic guy. I don't need to be happy to live. I also don't need a purpose to live. Living is just something that happens. But I want a purpose. I want to see a point to living.

      I can't deny the change of the tides, how sexism, racism, and those other -isms have bettered, dare I say. But the point of the matter is, man is evil. It's in our being to do the wrong things.

      This is why I don't believe in world peace. Or in peace that's shared with a group. It's either you confine yourself in seclusion, disregarding the plights of others to attain your peace or simply never have it.

      If so, then isn't peace selfish?

      If peace for the whole is not attainable, why else would I want to work for the greater good? To help the general? How and why would I work for others if world peace or peace is unattainable? The world is unfair because not all of us will ever be happy.

      So, that's to say. If I live my life, dedicating myself to changing something wrong in my country, in the grand scale of things, I would not have achieved anything. I am not a genius, I'm just another dreamer who realized everything is pointless, varying by the standards you've set for your goals and dreams.

      I'm sorry for ranting. I just wanted someone to see how I view things. I don't need fixing. I just wanted someone to know.

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      • myboyfriendsbitch
        11 years ago | pl

        I don't know why, but I feel very sad that you are so unhappy. There must be something you feel makes life worth living... If not, I really hope you find something.

        I have felt like this before, and sometimes do, but only in a passing phase. I don't really know why I feel like I must keep going, like I will eventually make some sort of impact, even if it is miniscule, but I do. Though I don't understand it, I feel like the world as a whole has something great to achieve.

        I don't think man is evil. I think at most we are half evil. Maybe we have to separate the good from the evil, or maybe we must learn to make good and evil work together. I'm not sure.

        And one final thought: If you can accomplish just as much as an optimist, imagine how much more you could accomplish if you, yourself, were an optimist.

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        • Mayris
          11 years ago | pl

          I know it's sad. But this is how I am at the moment. I say at the moment because as always, I know this is fleeting. Thank you for your time. May we all have better days.

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  • somebody23
    11 years ago | pl

    this is not normal, there is stuffto do and it will be attainable, ppl these days forget about stuff to do, there is so much to see explore touch feel... so on, dont worry when im gonna be rich, and be the world leader I will get ur address and well go on a worl tour together to have fun :D

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  • TonybigCock
    11 years ago | pl

    i coudlnt be bothered to read your long statement, but no it is not normal. just remember life is all you have, just get over it, whatever it is and move on. stop indulging your weaker self.

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    • Mayris
      11 years ago | pl

      Kindly define weaker and stronger self. I don't believe in religion. In peace. In the greater good. What I do believe in is that humans are cheats. We live in a world where capitalists rule. We are constantly manipulated by the strong. This is why we little people are conversing on the internet, in a relatively questionable website.

      I am merely stating facts. In the grand scheme of things, we are petty small creatures that won't even leave a single mark on the world. It's true. Millions do everyday. Probably, if I find something smaller and more in my grasp, I'll be able to find a reason to live.

      And I am not suicidal. Thank you for your time.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago | pl

    You don't want to die, if you did you would be dead by now.

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    • Mayris
      11 years ago | pl

      Then, is it correct if I say, I don't want to live anymore? How do I say it correctly, that I want to die, but not with my own hands. It's like, I want the universe to just kill me. How do I say that correctly?

      I know it's just depression speaking, but really, of all the crap in the world, why should I even bother going through the hardships knowing that nothing in this world will ever change? The times may, but overall, man will never stop being hideous petty creatures. By saying this, I'm also saying I'm no different from how I view people in general.

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      • Spider400
        8 years ago | pl

        Hey, I know that I can't cure your feelings, I just want to know, what do you actually want to get out of this? (I mean that in a nice way, it sounds a bit bitchy though unintended.) do you simply want to know if it's normal or not, do you want to know if others feel the same, do you want to talk about it? Reading some of these comments I feel like we are in very similar situations except there is one significant difference in our outlooks. I'm just interested and curious.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago | pl

        It's not that you want to die, it's that you don't want to live in world that has nothing to offer you. As in, you are afraid of dying (like mostly everyone) but don't want to live in this enviroment, would preffer it to be better to your liking.

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        • Mayris
          11 years ago | pl

          I don't think I'm afraid of dying. I don't want to gauge if this is an excuse but, I don't want to kill myself because of how it will come out to those around me. I don't want them to think I was just another lost cause. I want them to know I died because I wanted to. I don't want them to feel pity for me. I don't want them to cry for me. If I kill myself, they'll think something is wrong with me. That there's something wrong with my head, that I'm crazy, foolish for killing myself. But I'm not. I just want to be redeemed from living this life. Death is just like ending your relationship with the world. Which is why I want to be killed by another. But the fact that I'm thinking like this merely means I'm thinking as someone alive. Someone who cares about what happens, which I shouldn't be.

          In short, you're right. I'm not in the phase of killing myself. I'm more on one where I wouldn't mind dying. I like this place though, to clarify, I'm not afraid of dying.

          If ever I do, I'll welcome death like a good friend.

          I guess I just needed someone to talk to. Thanks for the short chat. Message me if you're in need of anyone to talk to. I'm not demented. I'd like to think I'm a rational person, open to discussion.

          Life is just so pointless.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago | pl

            If you weren't afraid of dying you would have no reason to reject the suicide option.
            Well, you clearly stated there that something does matter to you that you have a good enough reason not to commit suicide, your family. So your feelings for your family outweigh your feelings of remorse of living.
            By the whole relationship example you imply you want things to get better, but the other person ends it, which implies you still want things to change for the better.

            I'm going to be honest here, I think you are trying to make this come off as a dramatic, cliche suicide thing with the way you word things.

            You explained yourself that you have a reason not to kill yourself, so it isn't exactly pointless.

            I also want you to know I am not sympathizing with you, and I am not a friend to you or anyone on this site. You may take that as in insult (not my intention) but the reason for me stating this is so that you don't get the impression I'm basing my comments off of emotion rather than logic.

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            • VioletTrees
              11 years ago | pl

              Don't tell suicidal people that they're being dramatic, you insensitive clod. It doesn't help.

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            • Mayris
              11 years ago | pl

              What were you expecting out of the discourse? You've acknowledged and tolerated it seems, a phase of depression from an anxious teenager.

              Can't a person accept death without having to prove it through suicide? Have I not stated it clearly enough? I am not alive because of my family. Or friends, or anyone. I do not live for them. I live for nothing at the moment. Petty as it seems, the only thing keeping me on is my hamster.

              I pity those who die but want to live. As much as I pity those who continue living but want to die.

              Life as I said, is pointless, and filled with shit we have to keep enduring. People say it makes us stronger, but when we die, what happens to all those moments of achievements-- nothing.

              I'll end it here as it seems as though I'm irritating you. Don't let a person off the net get to your skin.

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