Alrighty, so I'm a woman who simply doesn't enjoy putting up with this bullshit.
I like wearing clothes that are flattering to my figure. It makes me feel more confident in myself and it has nothing to do with how men might view me.
Ironically enough dressing more conservatively actually seems to make men(perverted men) more likely to creep on me.
This happened about 5 nights ago...
I was just bored. I only had a few bucks on me and I felt like trying some flavored cigarillos.
I wore some old skinny jeans (this is all that would fit me. I recently got in a horrific car accident and I've lost a lot of weight since then.), and also an oversized hoodie becuase it was a bit chilly out.
I naively thought that this would make me less of a target. I thought that if certain men couldn't see my figure then maybe they wouldn't try to pick on me.
The opposite was true...
As I walked out of that liqour store I tried to light up these silly cherry flavored cigarillos that I'd just bought, only to hear a man calling out to me.
I looked up and saw a big navy blue van in the furthest corner of the parking lot where a man was calling out to me, his friend in the driver's seat.
This happened at night. It was after 10pm.
He kept talking to me, completely oblivious to the fact that I was just trying to light up my cigar. He didn't give a fuck. He just wanted my attention, I guess.
I was a little freaked out and I tried to walk fast and hurry a long. I couldn't even light my stupid cigar because this situation was throwing me off too much. I was scared.
I walked past theses people and I was waiting for the traffic to stop so I could jay walk across the street the and escape.
My body language no doubt communicated that I was frightened and stand offish. They didn't give even half a flying FUCK though.
As I stood at the sidewalk this man called out to me one more time...
He said "Hey, look over here at what I've got"
Against my better judgement...I froze in place and turned to look at this man.
There was NOTHING! Nothing to look at. Nothing in his hands. He was simply trying to "lure" me towards his van with him and his friend.
I have absolutely no idea what would have happened if I had actually walked towards these people.
I ran across the street moments after that so I could go and be safe in my apartment again, and I heard these men talking to each other(and to me) as I did so.
EVERYTHING about my body language communicated utter terror. I was AFRAID. They didn't care. They seemed amused if anything.
So yeah...it's "normal", I guess, to sexualize women's bodies. I was completely covered though. Ironically enough this increased the harrassment I was receiving.
With my body covered no one could tell I was actually an adult...I resembled jailbait(I look young), and these men thought they could take advantage of that.
When I dress in more adult clothing I receive very little harassment. Even if my outfit is just tad revealing. This tells me that these predatory people don't give a shit about how attractive I am...
They only care about how weak and vulnerable I appear. My sexuality and maturity has little, if anything, to do with it.
So no...Women shouldn't put up with this fucking bullshit. Damned if we do, damned if we don't, ya know?
Keep your fucking eyes to yourself please. You're weldome to look at me or check me out, but not much more than that. Mind your own business...I dress for myself. Nobody else.
is it possible that the confidence you express by wearing more adult/potentially revealing clothing makes predatory people less confrontational themselves? the correlation seems kind of odd and this is the only thing i can think of
Confidence=Security. We are all only animals, after all.
Human beings are animals...that means that you and I are animals as well. This isn’t even weird at all honestly. If you’ve been in a Biology class recently then you already get what I mean, I’m sure.
So yeah...you hit the nail in the head! Thank you. My confidence does, indeed, act as a sort of “repellant” to those of us with a predatory nature...
And we should all embrace this. Human beings are STILL animals, through and through. We are, indeed, the most intelligent amongst all animals, but we should still recognize that this DOESN’T make us any different.
We’re all animals. I’m an animal. You’re an animal. Anyone who is reading this is an ANIMAL.
And that’s not even a bad thing! Animals are more than just predatory. Anyone who “owns” a cat already know this. :)
We are all simple to the very core. I know I am, at least. All I know is that, yeah, my confidence does act as protection to me. Confidence can act as protection to anyone else, too. Anybody.
Maybe if I had felt more more confident then this wouldn’t have happened to me. Body language is a “thing”, ya know. It’s not something “mystical” of even “abstract”. It just might have been the one little thing that would have put these men off!
Or not...I honestly don’t know. I can’t read minds...all I know is that I detected a distinct lack of empathy in these men, and it frightened me in a way I haven’t felt frightened in a long time. I do think confidence will help protect me though, so I’ll continue getting better and trying to get healthier.
If that happens again go back inside the store, man or woman yoy were in a potentially dangerous situ. There are other things you could have done to appear less vunerable, male or female, check YouTube.
Also you mentioned western culture , in many many countries in the same scenario you , because you're a woman would have been raped at the veey least or raped and beaten possibly murdered . In these countries , of which there are many there would have been a rudimentary police investigation at best and the population would have said you deserved it. So don't go overboard on the western country battering.
Honestly out of any culture on earth western society is probably the most fair out of any to females. Theres countries where its legal and not even looked down upon to beat your wife with a whip. Women also can not operate machinery legally and get their clitoris cut off. Eastern european culture isnt this bad but still much worse than western culture.
Thank you, really. I mean it. I live in the USA...I'm just a basic soCal girl living in a desert. I was born and raised there.
It's very sad that even in the good ol' USA that I STILL feel this way!
You might be right. Perhaps I could have been beaten and murdered...or RAPED.
Who cares anymore? I've been through absolute HELL and back already!
If you're still curious to know why I didn't go back into that liquor store...
It's because there was a man at the counter, a clerk. Cashier. Whatever.
He was Indian. Asian indian lol. We've talked before, please don't call me racist.
I thought he was my friend...But no. I tried to reach out to this person and he STILL tried to hold things over my head!
By "things" I do mean alcohol, by the way.
I fucking love hard liquor. It runs in my blood, I guess. Both of my parents were the same way. They're dead now btw. Their vices fucking DESTROYED them in the end!
I don't care though. I'm doing my own thing...
I may not be an alcoholic now. I realize that it's definitely possible in the future. I. Don't. Give. A. SHIT!.
My parents may have fallen victim to their vices, by why the fuck should I? I'm my OWN PERSON! I don't HAVE to follow in their footsteps if I don't want to!
Again...thank you. I genuinely mean it. I just might look up some of that stuff on Youtube, honestly.
Im by no means a feminist and I actually think it would be good for society if less women worked and focused more on raising their kids at home without daycares.
But if I saw a creep going after a girl like this id definitely step in and tell him to back off or maybe whip his little ass. Dont associate those types with conservatives too much. Most guys I know would not stand for that or allow some dude to scare a girl like that. When I say its ok to "sexualize" women I mean in a respectful way like admiring their beauty. Theres a big line between admiring a woman and harrassing and scaring her. Dont lump us together.
IIN to sexualise women’s body’s
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Alrighty, so I'm a woman who simply doesn't enjoy putting up with this bullshit.
I like wearing clothes that are flattering to my figure. It makes me feel more confident in myself and it has nothing to do with how men might view me.
Ironically enough dressing more conservatively actually seems to make men(perverted men) more likely to creep on me.
This happened about 5 nights ago...
I was just bored. I only had a few bucks on me and I felt like trying some flavored cigarillos.
I wore some old skinny jeans (this is all that would fit me. I recently got in a horrific car accident and I've lost a lot of weight since then.), and also an oversized hoodie becuase it was a bit chilly out.
I naively thought that this would make me less of a target. I thought that if certain men couldn't see my figure then maybe they wouldn't try to pick on me.
The opposite was true...
As I walked out of that liqour store I tried to light up these silly cherry flavored cigarillos that I'd just bought, only to hear a man calling out to me.
I looked up and saw a big navy blue van in the furthest corner of the parking lot where a man was calling out to me, his friend in the driver's seat.
This happened at night. It was after 10pm.
He kept talking to me, completely oblivious to the fact that I was just trying to light up my cigar. He didn't give a fuck. He just wanted my attention, I guess.
I was a little freaked out and I tried to walk fast and hurry a long. I couldn't even light my stupid cigar because this situation was throwing me off too much. I was scared.
I walked past theses people and I was waiting for the traffic to stop so I could jay walk across the street the and escape.
My body language no doubt communicated that I was frightened and stand offish. They didn't give even half a flying FUCK though.
As I stood at the sidewalk this man called out to me one more time...
He said "Hey, look over here at what I've got"
Against my better judgement...I froze in place and turned to look at this man.
There was NOTHING! Nothing to look at. Nothing in his hands. He was simply trying to "lure" me towards his van with him and his friend.
I have absolutely no idea what would have happened if I had actually walked towards these people.
I ran across the street moments after that so I could go and be safe in my apartment again, and I heard these men talking to each other(and to me) as I did so.
EVERYTHING about my body language communicated utter terror. I was AFRAID. They didn't care. They seemed amused if anything.
So yeah...it's "normal", I guess, to sexualize women's bodies. I was completely covered though. Ironically enough this increased the harrassment I was receiving.
With my body covered no one could tell I was actually an adult...I resembled jailbait(I look young), and these men thought they could take advantage of that.
When I dress in more adult clothing I receive very little harassment. Even if my outfit is just tad revealing. This tells me that these predatory people don't give a shit about how attractive I am...
They only care about how weak and vulnerable I appear. My sexuality and maturity has little, if anything, to do with it.
So no...Women shouldn't put up with this fucking bullshit. Damned if we do, damned if we don't, ya know?
Keep your fucking eyes to yourself please. You're weldome to look at me or check me out, but not much more than that. Mind your own business...I dress for myself. Nobody else.
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thepuppet
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is it possible that the confidence you express by wearing more adult/potentially revealing clothing makes predatory people less confrontational themselves? the correlation seems kind of odd and this is the only thing i can think of
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idolomantis
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You’re correct, absolutely.
This is all it boils down to...
Confidence=Security. We are all only animals, after all.
Human beings are animals...that means that you and I are animals as well. This isn’t even weird at all honestly. If you’ve been in a Biology class recently then you already get what I mean, I’m sure.
So yeah...you hit the nail in the head! Thank you. My confidence does, indeed, act as a sort of “repellant” to those of us with a predatory nature...
And we should all embrace this. Human beings are STILL animals, through and through. We are, indeed, the most intelligent amongst all animals, but we should still recognize that this DOESN’T make us any different.
We’re all animals. I’m an animal. You’re an animal. Anyone who is reading this is an ANIMAL.
And that’s not even a bad thing! Animals are more than just predatory. Anyone who “owns” a cat already know this. :)
We are all simple to the very core. I know I am, at least. All I know is that, yeah, my confidence does act as protection to me. Confidence can act as protection to anyone else, too. Anybody.
Maybe if I had felt more more confident then this wouldn’t have happened to me. Body language is a “thing”, ya know. It’s not something “mystical” of even “abstract”. It just might have been the one little thing that would have put these men off!
Or not...I honestly don’t know. I can’t read minds...all I know is that I detected a distinct lack of empathy in these men, and it frightened me in a way I haven’t felt frightened in a long time. I do think confidence will help protect me though, so I’ll continue getting better and trying to get healthier.
If that happens again go back inside the store, man or woman yoy were in a potentially dangerous situ. There are other things you could have done to appear less vunerable, male or female, check YouTube.
Also you mentioned western culture , in many many countries in the same scenario you , because you're a woman would have been raped at the veey least or raped and beaten possibly murdered . In these countries , of which there are many there would have been a rudimentary police investigation at best and the population would have said you deserved it. So don't go overboard on the western country battering.
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idolomantis
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Honestly out of any culture on earth western society is probably the most fair out of any to females. Theres countries where its legal and not even looked down upon to beat your wife with a whip. Women also can not operate machinery legally and get their clitoris cut off. Eastern european culture isnt this bad but still much worse than western culture.
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idolomantis
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You are completely correct, thank you! I am definitely very fortunate to have been born where I am(socal in the desert).
I know that I am not nearly as unfortunate as women in other countires...my clitoris is still intact and I am capable of experiening pleasure from it.
Before a bunch of randomn ass guys start trolling on me for this, who even gives a fucking shit!??
I'm just a human being, the same as you. I know you want to "get" me, I guess, but did you ever stop to think about what that actually means?
I'm just a person...I'm not a "troll". I'm not anyone's cute little "pet'"...I'm just me.
Thank you, really. I mean it. I live in the USA...I'm just a basic soCal girl living in a desert. I was born and raised there.
It's very sad that even in the good ol' USA that I STILL feel this way!
You might be right. Perhaps I could have been beaten and murdered...or RAPED.
Who cares anymore? I've been through absolute HELL and back already!
If you're still curious to know why I didn't go back into that liquor store...
It's because there was a man at the counter, a clerk. Cashier. Whatever.
He was Indian. Asian indian lol. We've talked before, please don't call me racist.
I thought he was my friend...But no. I tried to reach out to this person and he STILL tried to hold things over my head!
By "things" I do mean alcohol, by the way.
I fucking love hard liquor. It runs in my blood, I guess. Both of my parents were the same way. They're dead now btw. Their vices fucking DESTROYED them in the end!
I don't care though. I'm doing my own thing...
I may not be an alcoholic now. I realize that it's definitely possible in the future. I. Don't. Give. A. SHIT!.
My parents may have fallen victim to their vices, by why the fuck should I? I'm my OWN PERSON! I don't HAVE to follow in their footsteps if I don't want to!
Again...thank you. I genuinely mean it. I just might look up some of that stuff on Youtube, honestly.
But I will never ever apologize for who I am.
I’m sorry to hear of you car accident (and this experience), all the best with your recovery.
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idolomantis
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thank you
Im by no means a feminist and I actually think it would be good for society if less women worked and focused more on raising their kids at home without daycares.
But if I saw a creep going after a girl like this id definitely step in and tell him to back off or maybe whip his little ass. Dont associate those types with conservatives too much. Most guys I know would not stand for that or allow some dude to scare a girl like that. When I say its ok to "sexualize" women I mean in a respectful way like admiring their beauty. Theres a big line between admiring a woman and harrassing and scaring her. Dont lump us together.