It sounds more like you are afraid of succeeding and the responsibilities that come with it than enjoying failure.
You have to actually try to succeed, whereas failure doesn't require any effort.
It's easy to fail, it's hard to succeed.
If you fail on purpose you are hurting only yourself, as I'm sure you know. You might get sympathy from other people but if you fail consistently they will eventually stop giving it.
Maybe it's hard for you to make those decisions? Maybe you're afraid of trying to begin with? In any case, failure is an outcome of certainty so it might feel comfortable, but it's not worth it in the long haul, I promise you.
I'd suggest that you take a good moment of time and think about what you really want in life. No one ever did anything by talking about it, you have to take small steps over and over to get the grand result.
Is it normal to secretly enjoy failure?
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It sounds more like you are afraid of succeeding and the responsibilities that come with it than enjoying failure.
You have to actually try to succeed, whereas failure doesn't require any effort.
It's easy to fail, it's hard to succeed.
If you fail on purpose you are hurting only yourself, as I'm sure you know. You might get sympathy from other people but if you fail consistently they will eventually stop giving it.
Maybe it's hard for you to make those decisions? Maybe you're afraid of trying to begin with? In any case, failure is an outcome of certainty so it might feel comfortable, but it's not worth it in the long haul, I promise you.
I'd suggest that you take a good moment of time and think about what you really want in life. No one ever did anything by talking about it, you have to take small steps over and over to get the grand result.
Just try. :]