Firstly, it takes two to tango. Secondly, how concrete is the evidence? Thirdly, leopards don't change their spots.
This is the hard talk.
You think of it as someone else taking her away, but - heartbreaking as it almost certainly seems - if she is really going with someone else, then it's because somewhere along the line, she has chosen to.
If you don't know for a fact that she is with him now and it just seems that way because of something like, say, their tone of voice when they speak to each other, then be prepared for the potential reality that your perceptions might be completely wrong. It's disorientating in the extreme to second-guess our perceptions, but left to our own devices, a lot of us find ourselves believing that the worst possible version of things necessarily has to be the one that's true. That's a fallacy. That doesn't discount how real and how distressing it is to feel almost certain that someone is going to abandon you. My point is that when you are very, very worried about something, there's a tendency to perceive the 'worst case scenario' as the scenario that is necessarily going to happen - to the extent that if you try and confront someone with it, they may think you're bonkers or paranoid.
Alternatively, if she has said she is leaving or thinking about leaving, or if you have actually seen non-platonic touching or sexual/romantic messages like 'I love you babe' or whatever, then the evidence is quite conclusive. There's little about your perceptions that needs to be called into question in this case, and all I can say is that if she is really with the other man, she is likely not with him against her will unless he kidnapped her or threatened her or something. She will have seen the option of being with him instead open to her and she will have chosen it, and if you chase her she will not change her mind. Even if she does change her mind, you have seen her character now: this episode is going to repeat itself, and that's a part of her character that only she can change (and unless something drastic happens she probably won't).
I've said some really hard-hitting things here but they're said with the aim of helping you to make choices that will limit how much painful this will be. You have my solidarity because I believe I think I might have experienced something not unlike what you're going through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Is it normal to rob someone of life for taking away your girl?
← View full post
Firstly, it takes two to tango. Secondly, how concrete is the evidence? Thirdly, leopards don't change their spots.
This is the hard talk.
You think of it as someone else taking her away, but - heartbreaking as it almost certainly seems - if she is really going with someone else, then it's because somewhere along the line, she has chosen to.
If you don't know for a fact that she is with him now and it just seems that way because of something like, say, their tone of voice when they speak to each other, then be prepared for the potential reality that your perceptions might be completely wrong. It's disorientating in the extreme to second-guess our perceptions, but left to our own devices, a lot of us find ourselves believing that the worst possible version of things necessarily has to be the one that's true. That's a fallacy. That doesn't discount how real and how distressing it is to feel almost certain that someone is going to abandon you. My point is that when you are very, very worried about something, there's a tendency to perceive the 'worst case scenario' as the scenario that is necessarily going to happen - to the extent that if you try and confront someone with it, they may think you're bonkers or paranoid.
Alternatively, if she has said she is leaving or thinking about leaving, or if you have actually seen non-platonic touching or sexual/romantic messages like 'I love you babe' or whatever, then the evidence is quite conclusive. There's little about your perceptions that needs to be called into question in this case, and all I can say is that if she is really with the other man, she is likely not with him against her will unless he kidnapped her or threatened her or something. She will have seen the option of being with him instead open to her and she will have chosen it, and if you chase her she will not change her mind. Even if she does change her mind, you have seen her character now: this episode is going to repeat itself, and that's a part of her character that only she can change (and unless something drastic happens she probably won't).
I've said some really hard-hitting things here but they're said with the aim of helping you to make choices that will limit how much painful this will be. You have my solidarity because I believe I think I might have experienced something not unlike what you're going through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
--
Giorgi
9 months ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Reality is, you need to game to get love and there's no cheats here.