I am completely opposed to jumping to conclusions and voting to immediately end a seven year parental relationship based on one secondhand anecdote. We don't know either of these people. I'm not trying to be cynical, but we can't throw out the possibility that it was mis-phrased, misinterpreted, or even exaggerated. She didn't explain what she meant by "abusive" (I'd imagine that if he's violent, THAT would presumably be the focus of this story), so I told her what to do in the event of two different types of abuse (physical and emotional).
Think of it this way. If the relationship is truly violent and tumultuous, taking your advice would have the same result as my advice, right? Either way she would leave. But if the relationship is salvageable and not violent, then your advice leads to unnecessarily dissolving the parental figures of two girls, while mine makes an attempt to save it. Basically we said the same thing, except I didn't assume the relationship was unfixable, so I offered advice on what to do if it is fixable.
I'm not trying to attack you, I just think it's important to be levelheaded in any situation instead of potentially being impulsive with other people's lives.
I think she just needs to get away from him a little while and then see where it goes.
Yes I don't think it would be right to take two daughters away from the father either, not one bit unless he is violent toward them too. And thats not what I was saying either. I was saying she needs to get a away from the bullcrap but at the same time I know I was misleading from what I had said. :)
But yes since he is the father he has a right to see his daughters. But in the relationship I don't see much happening.
Is it normal to resent my so called "boyfriend"
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I am completely opposed to jumping to conclusions and voting to immediately end a seven year parental relationship based on one secondhand anecdote. We don't know either of these people. I'm not trying to be cynical, but we can't throw out the possibility that it was mis-phrased, misinterpreted, or even exaggerated. She didn't explain what she meant by "abusive" (I'd imagine that if he's violent, THAT would presumably be the focus of this story), so I told her what to do in the event of two different types of abuse (physical and emotional).
Think of it this way. If the relationship is truly violent and tumultuous, taking your advice would have the same result as my advice, right? Either way she would leave. But if the relationship is salvageable and not violent, then your advice leads to unnecessarily dissolving the parental figures of two girls, while mine makes an attempt to save it. Basically we said the same thing, except I didn't assume the relationship was unfixable, so I offered advice on what to do if it is fixable.
I'm not trying to attack you, I just think it's important to be levelheaded in any situation instead of potentially being impulsive with other people's lives.
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Saycheese
11 years ago
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I think she just needs to get away from him a little while and then see where it goes.
Yes I don't think it would be right to take two daughters away from the father either, not one bit unless he is violent toward them too. And thats not what I was saying either. I was saying she needs to get a away from the bullcrap but at the same time I know I was misleading from what I had said. :)
But yes since he is the father he has a right to see his daughters. But in the relationship I don't see much happening.