Is it normal to realise that everything is a pretense?

73% Normal
15 Comments

I've begun to realise that nothing is like people tell you.
The first kiss, the falling in love with 'the one', and staying in relationships with people for your whole life. None of that is actually true. So why do they make it up? Why don't people just tell the truth - that life is kind of chaos and nobody really knows what they're doing. There is no formula.
And that everyone is really alone, because we are individuals. And everyone actually only cares about themselves - people think the world revolves around them, and people only take part in conversation to say their bit, they don't listen to the other person. So why do we pretend? People care about themselves more than other people (fact) so why do we keep up the pretense of hanging around each other?

Life isn't like you're taught it should be, so why do they lie to children, only for them to have major reality shocks later?

I knew all this 'in theory' since I was about ten and stopped believing in fairytales, but now it's like 'in practice'. And why have the fairytales, anyway?

Is it normal to have these realisations? Is this what becoming an adult is all about?

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 15 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • wigsplitz
    12 years ago | pl

    Well when you have children you might understand it better. I always thought I'd never tell my kids about Santa or the tooth fairy, but when the time came, I did. I couldn't bear not to. It's all about the magic of being a kid and parents having hopes for their children. You sound like you're at an age where you're not a kid anymore but you don't have much adult experience either and it will all make sense to you in time.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
  • wreckd
    12 years ago | pl

    I care more about God, my son, and my husband more than I care about myself. There are people out there who honestly care, they're just very few. This world is going downhill and bringing the people with it. Your realization is very normal. And while seeing people in that horrible light, maybe you'll find some amazing people too.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
      -
    • Lord_Of_All_Cabbage
      12 years ago | pl

      You only care about your god so you can go to heaven. You only care about your husband because he puts money on the table.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
        -
      • GreenD
        12 years ago | pl

        Was gonna say something similar, but not as harsh. :/

        basically, humans are altruistic. We convince ourselves that we care about other people more than ourselves.(I do too).

        But really we do stuff to avoid bad feelings and gain pleasure, pure selfishness.

        You can't find one single thing that doesn't have a selfish motive, and there always is one, because when you do something you think if unselfish, you get a good feeling about it - so it's something for yourself.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        Report
        1
        1
  • slutzombie
    10 years ago | pl

    I agree everybody is self centered- even if you love somebody, or dedicate your life to others, you do it because it makes YOU happy.
    Falling in love, or being with someone your entire life is not a fairy tale. It may be rare, but it exists. Don't you think it's better to focus on the positive aspects of life? If you put out good vibes, the universe will return the favor.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • yearealityisshit
    11 years ago | pl

    i'm just the same... x]

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • Hooviva
    12 years ago | pl

    The world is an illusion, I agree. Fairy tales are a funny thing, by gum I wrote a fairy tale, it's about a fairy who lives in the forest, oh yes it contains adult themes and good old-fashioned sexual references, jolly good! But I never believe in a fairy tale. Either a person needs to cut the act or never acts quite the same as they used to even yesterday.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • JR(562)
    12 years ago | pl

    Yea ur right man I think people say this to not scare others or something they wish that's what things were really like but there are some people that care about u but they're hard to find

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
      -
    • GreenD
      12 years ago | pl

      I guess everybody's thinking the same thing, and people tell it to each other to make themselves feel better.
      But I don't think any of　the good stuff exists any more.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
  • Anees
    12 years ago | pl

    Man, I just think the same.
    I really like your post.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • TheIntellect
    12 years ago | pl

    A sugarcoated story with ideal morals and perfect outcomes (a fairytale) is something we can look forward to. How sadistic would your child be if you told them that life is just a hell of a lot of hard work with few satisfactions. It's normal to think of these realizations but you must also understand that life can be as beautiful as it is ugly.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
      -
    • GreenD
      12 years ago | pl

      They might be cynical, but they'd be realistic and if you tell it straight and know what's what, then you can find good points and figure out what you want.

      Rather than being told something that's fake and then realising life is a whole lot worse than people pretend it is.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
  • Faceless
    12 years ago | pl

    No more shrooms for you. This bad trip will end soon.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • Uzzie101
    12 years ago | pl

    I know people do this, but no couple have ever told me what seems to be a romantic version of their lives together. "We met at a pub" or "she was a friend of a friend" seems to be more common than "soulmates" or whatever.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • howaminotmyself
    12 years ago | pl

    love, relationships: These are subjective experiences with anecdotal evidence.

    Yes, people are selfish. But for me, being selfish benefits others in the process. It isn't always a bad thing. Humans are social animals who trend towards group cohesiveness. We are part of a whole.

    Fairy tales are good. They offer morals and are a fun way to share information.

    I'm sorry the real world is scary but that's life. It is a game of balance. If you see ugliness, rest assured that their is something somewhere equal in its beauty.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0