I spent years self mutilating.even as a very little girl I would get mad and gauge my cheeks with my fingernails. I have used everything from cigarettes to razors,and done anything from shallow scratches to deep cuts-one which landed me in the ER, and required seven staples. None of them were suicide attempts, though I have had suicidal ideation most of my life. A few years ago, I finally found out what is wrong with me-that I have borderline personality disorder. Some of my cutting was calculated, other times done in a fit of rage, often because I hated myself and felt that i deserved the pain and the ugly scars-and yes,I did in an odd way enjoy the pain, bleeding and scars.I, like other people with bpd did it to relieve myself of emotions I couldn't handle, out of low self esteem, and also as a cry for help-to show by my physical pain the agony I felt on the inside. I have since found medication that helps me, my family helps as best they can,and I have a daughter now, which is what finally made me stop cutting for good. I must be well to care for her,and I don't want her to end up like me.cutting is NOT normal-don't listen to these idiots giving you ideas for other ways to hurt yourself! Please get help.You need to talk to a doctor. You may have what I do, or a different disorder, or it may be some other issue.there is nothing to be ashamed of, but you must stop before you damage your body any further. I know I'm just some stranger to you,but if it means anything, I'm so sorry for your pain.
Is it normal to purposely hurt myself?
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I spent years self mutilating.even as a very little girl I would get mad and gauge my cheeks with my fingernails. I have used everything from cigarettes to razors,and done anything from shallow scratches to deep cuts-one which landed me in the ER, and required seven staples. None of them were suicide attempts, though I have had suicidal ideation most of my life. A few years ago, I finally found out what is wrong with me-that I have borderline personality disorder. Some of my cutting was calculated, other times done in a fit of rage, often because I hated myself and felt that i deserved the pain and the ugly scars-and yes,I did in an odd way enjoy the pain, bleeding and scars.I, like other people with bpd did it to relieve myself of emotions I couldn't handle, out of low self esteem, and also as a cry for help-to show by my physical pain the agony I felt on the inside. I have since found medication that helps me, my family helps as best they can,and I have a daughter now, which is what finally made me stop cutting for good. I must be well to care for her,and I don't want her to end up like me.cutting is NOT normal-don't listen to these idiots giving you ideas for other ways to hurt yourself! Please get help.You need to talk to a doctor. You may have what I do, or a different disorder, or it may be some other issue.there is nothing to be ashamed of, but you must stop before you damage your body any further. I know I'm just some stranger to you,but if it means anything, I'm so sorry for your pain.