Is it normal to only talk to people for a reason?

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13 Comments

I've never liked small talk. Talking for the sake of talking is obnoxious, and a waste of both my and the other party's time. Whenever I engage in conversation with someone else, I have a reason for it. They have data that I want. I want their opinion on something. I want their help. However, the reason is never "just to talk," because we both have better things to do. I like watching rhetoric shows (TED Talks, stand-up, vlogs) when they have something worthwhile to give me. Otherwise, I prefer silence. Is this normal?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 13 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Faceless
    8 years ago | pl

    hurrdurr. i is smrt. hurrdurr. better then everyone around me. hurr durr. im an introvert an am a genius. hurr durr.

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    • regisphilbin
      8 years ago | pl

      OP never implied that he/she is a genius, only that they have a preference when it comes to social interaction. You reveal your own ignorance with this comment.

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    • Jaspus
      8 years ago | pl

      No, I'm asking if I'm alone in that I dislike pointless blather, not seeking commentary on my supposedly "genius" intellect and apparently implied introversion. Neither of those are true.

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  • dpy
    8 years ago | pl

    It's annoying and very superficial. The other person doesn't mean what they say.

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  • green_boogers
    8 years ago | pl

    Small talk causes brain bleed. No thanks.

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  • theseeker
    8 years ago | pl

    I used to prefer silence, but I learned people seem to view you as disrespectful, or get the idea you don't like them if you do so. So, now I feel uncomfortable When there's awkward silence between me and another person because I feel like there's some kind of expectation from me to engage conversation. I use small talk because it seems to make things less awkward.

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    • Jaspus
      8 years ago | pl

      Typically, if there's someone I want to respect me, I can figure out something to talk about specifically.

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  • howaminotmyself
    8 years ago | pl

    I don't get why people call small talk a waste of time. Exchanging pleasantries is just that, an exchange of something pleasant. And a conversation has to start aomewhere. Why not with banter? Who goes right into a conversation about the deeper meaning of the local elections and its effect on the dog park down the street? You may not like the reason, but it is still a reason. And if you aren't fulfilled by a pointless conversation, then you may want to dive deeper into what you want out of the conversation.

    If you don't want to chat, that's fine. But sometimes a random conversation can turn into something deeper if you are open to it.

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    • Jaspus
      8 years ago | pl

      A random conversation is fine; If a stranger asks me a question and we engage in conversation, great! There's a reason they want to talk (the initial question) which creates a subject to talk about. However, "Hi, how are you" doesn't have any subject, except for "what are your feelings pertaining to the universe at this moment?"

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago | pl

    Are you neurotypical? Sorry, I was just wondering.

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    • Jaspus
      8 years ago | pl

      Yes, I believe so. I had a psychological eval about 3 years ago, though, turning up mid/mild depression.

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago | pl

        Oh okay, right on. That's understandable, I've been getting progressively more introverted in face to face real life, but I'm quite mad you know.

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