In the past he went official far too soon, and things ended poorly. he's sick of giving his everything and ending up with nothing. And he have been dating unfaithful whores as well.
So I get his point, he wants to get to know me properly and about two weeks ago he actually did told me that he would be willing to make me his BUT he wants to make sure that he can handle my sex-addiction. (I'm not unfaithful or anything, just needy)
So after three rough weekends we seem to have sorted everything out and worked out a perfect compromise.
(QUote) "Dont want to be with you just to have you dump me because you aren't getting enough sex"
He also said that he fears i'm only in it for the sex, whilst I have been holding back on the romance a bit just because i didnt wan't to scare him off so xD But as said, we are getting there and I'm just waiting in line to go see a therapist for my behaviour as well.
I think it's a good call for you to hold back on the sex, at least you will know if he's with you for that or if he wants more out of you.
I seriously think that if two people love one another and have been dating for a year, get committed even though the time might not be ideal, it might save you both some stress and you would KNOW that he wants you. You can be in a less tight and committed relationship too, just sit down and set the boundaries and rules.
IF he doesn't know if he wants you after a year he probably never will either ... :/
Heck, I'm thinking I've been dating my guy for too long xD
That's funny, I also have this affection/sex addiction. I don't think is serious but all I wanna do with him is cuddle and be affectionate. He has said no to sex before when I wanted to so I don't want him to think that thats all I want is sex and it also shows that he also won't just say yes to every offer so maybe it is more than sex. But that being said, it would be hard for me to tell him "no sex" because thats mostly what I wanna do with him but for my own respect, I should def let him know that its come down to that.
Well in the beginning all we did was party and have sex, thats how we met, through a party. Then we eventually got closer and started doing couple things like go out to eat and stay in and watch movies rather than partying. But that's it, that was all year so there wasn't any progress throughout the year. The year feels almost like it was only 3 months. So what I'm trying to say is yea it might seem suspicious if it has been that long and we haven't committed but we haven't done anything big all year that would make it seem like we're making progress. I think the next "big" step was him visiting me since we're long distance and yes meeting my family. But I havent met his but they know about me.
But yes I think it would feel so good to sit down and set the boundaries even if we're not official. One of the things I am lagging to tell him is idc if we're not together together, I don't want to share you with anybody else. So if he wants to be free to see/talk to others then he has to let me go. Although, girls aren't too big on his priority list, he can care less about goin out and meeting some, just in case I want to tell him that. His main priority is work.
My main issue isn't the sex, it´s how I react when I get denied (Sad and angry) But now that he said: "I do love sex but I sorta want to focus more on cuddling and getting to know you" that's when I understood I shouldn't really be that upset about when he rather cuddles me than fuck me- It's a good sign.
I'm just saying that there's a great risk of you getting hurt if you let this proceed the way it is now, just as I am taking a risk of getting hurt by staying unofficial when ve been feeling like his GF for at least two months as it is.
Yeah true i don't want to lead myself on feeling like his gf so I have always had a little doubt in the back of my head in case he is doing things I'm afraid he's doing. But like I said before, it will feel good to sit down and set boundaries regardless official or not cause at the end of the day, idc if we're not official, if you're involved with me in any way, I'm not sharing you.
IIN to not want to talk to your partner for a few days?
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In the past he went official far too soon, and things ended poorly. he's sick of giving his everything and ending up with nothing. And he have been dating unfaithful whores as well.
So I get his point, he wants to get to know me properly and about two weeks ago he actually did told me that he would be willing to make me his BUT he wants to make sure that he can handle my sex-addiction. (I'm not unfaithful or anything, just needy)
So after three rough weekends we seem to have sorted everything out and worked out a perfect compromise.
(QUote) "Dont want to be with you just to have you dump me because you aren't getting enough sex"
He also said that he fears i'm only in it for the sex, whilst I have been holding back on the romance a bit just because i didnt wan't to scare him off so xD But as said, we are getting there and I'm just waiting in line to go see a therapist for my behaviour as well.
I think it's a good call for you to hold back on the sex, at least you will know if he's with you for that or if he wants more out of you.
I seriously think that if two people love one another and have been dating for a year, get committed even though the time might not be ideal, it might save you both some stress and you would KNOW that he wants you. You can be in a less tight and committed relationship too, just sit down and set the boundaries and rules.
IF he doesn't know if he wants you after a year he probably never will either ... :/
Heck, I'm thinking I've been dating my guy for too long xD
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8 years ago
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That's funny, I also have this affection/sex addiction. I don't think is serious but all I wanna do with him is cuddle and be affectionate. He has said no to sex before when I wanted to so I don't want him to think that thats all I want is sex and it also shows that he also won't just say yes to every offer so maybe it is more than sex. But that being said, it would be hard for me to tell him "no sex" because thats mostly what I wanna do with him but for my own respect, I should def let him know that its come down to that.
Well in the beginning all we did was party and have sex, thats how we met, through a party. Then we eventually got closer and started doing couple things like go out to eat and stay in and watch movies rather than partying. But that's it, that was all year so there wasn't any progress throughout the year. The year feels almost like it was only 3 months. So what I'm trying to say is yea it might seem suspicious if it has been that long and we haven't committed but we haven't done anything big all year that would make it seem like we're making progress. I think the next "big" step was him visiting me since we're long distance and yes meeting my family. But I havent met his but they know about me.
But yes I think it would feel so good to sit down and set the boundaries even if we're not official. One of the things I am lagging to tell him is idc if we're not together together, I don't want to share you with anybody else. So if he wants to be free to see/talk to others then he has to let me go. Although, girls aren't too big on his priority list, he can care less about goin out and meeting some, just in case I want to tell him that. His main priority is work.
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My main issue isn't the sex, it´s how I react when I get denied (Sad and angry) But now that he said: "I do love sex but I sorta want to focus more on cuddling and getting to know you" that's when I understood I shouldn't really be that upset about when he rather cuddles me than fuck me- It's a good sign.
I'm just saying that there's a great risk of you getting hurt if you let this proceed the way it is now, just as I am taking a risk of getting hurt by staying unofficial when ve been feeling like his GF for at least two months as it is.
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Yeah true i don't want to lead myself on feeling like his gf so I have always had a little doubt in the back of my head in case he is doing things I'm afraid he's doing. But like I said before, it will feel good to sit down and set boundaries regardless official or not cause at the end of the day, idc if we're not official, if you're involved with me in any way, I'm not sharing you.