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I just can't think of a way to tell him. I've known him for years, we've never dated, but on the fourth of July we decided to hook up and have sex. Now I'm pregnant with his child.
Of course I want the baby to have a father, and know who his/her dad is, but I don't know how to tell him. I almost feel like it's better to just not let him know the child is his.
You have a responsibility to tell him if he got you pregnant. There's no excuse not to. How you choose to do that is up to you.
Personally, I'd tell him soon. He probably won't believe you at first, I should warn.
Either way, it's his kid as much as yours. He has the right to knowledge and decision. Don't be surprised at any of his reactions.
Yeah, I really want the child to have a father. Or at least know of him. The situation is so unbelievable though. We used a condom, but it wasn't his, a friend gave it to us. I'm pretty sure it just didn't fit right. And he already has so much going on in his life right now, telling him that he is going to be a father sounds like a big burden. He was framed with a lot of charges (That he did not commit) and may be facing prison time in the near future... This is so hard ):
It's not going to be thumbed down because of your point. I agree, maybe I should have been a bit more cautious of the situation and it's possible outcomes. But the reason it may be thumbed down is because that's not the issue at stake anymore. The child is already in me, and being more cautious while hooking up with people now is not going to change that. My concern and reason for this post is not that I am pregnant, it is how or if I should let the father know. Thanks for your input though.
It might have leaked over the top. If he didn't pull out immediately after he came, some could have leaked over the rim of the condom. Most likely you were ovulating, so your body was ready to accept sperm.
My husband and I have encountered this. I'm on birth control but during my off week I use condoms. It's not necessary but we take the precaution anyway so this doesn't matter when it happens. Thought I'd share my observation.
It's completely normal. I went through the same thing only it was a pregnancy scare. Although the whole time I contemplated on if and how I would tell the guy. I was so scared because I had just gotten out of high school, was going into college, and got a major business job. I couldn't screw up and it seemed as if my life was over. I decided I was going to tell him after I took a pregnancy test. Turns out the test was negative. I was relieved, but at the same time it made me realize how easy it is to get pregnant, as ignorant as it sounds. I am very happy that you're not aborting because I completely agree with you. It would mess you up so much emotionally, anyone really. Idk how these girls get pregnant and have abortions and have absolutely no remorse... Anyways, you asked a question, and I'm gonna answer the best way I can. I think you should tell him. If he had a part in making the baby, he deserves a chance to be in that baby's life. If he doesn't want to, that's his choice. But then you can make a choice just as easily. It's called CHILD SUPPORT(: He doesn't have to be a part of the baby's life if he doesn't want to. Again, that's his choice, but if he decides to go with that route, you deserve his help financially. It takes 2 to make a baby. He needs to take that responsibility as well. Best of luck(:
Yeah I'm going into my senior year of high school. This isn't exactly helping me get through it, but sh!t happens I guess! Thanks for your input, you were nice about it, and could relate, and that's exactly what I was looking for. I think after he gets out of the situation he is in, he will make a effort to be in the child's life. As of now, I feel like telling him that he's going to be a father just adds to the huge weight he already has on his shoulders. I'm going to tell him, I'm just waiting for the right time.
You have to tell him. Don't beat around in the bush, just be up front and honest. Sit him down and say:
"I've got something very important I have to tell you but I'm a little bit frightened of what I have to say" and then say "That night we hooked up on the 4th? Well, I'm pregnant"
Or if you want to break it in a bit easier you could say:
"I've got something very important I have to tell you but I'm a little bit frightened of what I have to say. That night we hooked up on the 4th? Well, I haven't had a period since then and I might be pregnant"
I've always thought honesty is the best policy and you have to tell him. It wouldn't be fair to him, yourself or your child if he didn't know.
I wish you good luck and all the best for the future :)
I think he'd rather his long-time friend was honest with him (even if he didn't want the child) than that she inadvertently betrayed him by being to scared to tell him something VERY important.
I would suggest being prepared for him to say he might want no part in the child's life, but it's fantastic if he is prepared to play a role.
Good on you for being honest and responsible, though. I wish more women who hooked up were like you.
I wish you the best and I hope that this doesn't affect your relationship for the worse.
Keep us posted!
I'm going to tell him. I just have to wait for the right moment. He has so much going on right now, that I feel like telling him he's going to be a father will just tear him down. I know he's a good person though, and once he's out of this situation he will come around and be part of his child's life. He has a big heart, he wouldn't just walk out of this.
Of course you will be apprehensive about telling him because bringing a new human into the world is a huge thing. But think yourself lucky, you have known him for years. Many women get pregnant by men they have known for an hour.
Just get it over and done with. The sooner the better. You probably will be pleasantly surprised.
Congratulations woo!
With his situation, I think the sooner you tell him the better. If he has to go to prison he may want or need to spend time with you while he can. If he is the type to get into trouble, it may give him a reason to straighten out, though probably not immediately. Many guys don't know how to deal with these things, so you may not hear from him for a couple weeks after you tell him.
Maybe you can just buy him a case of beer and Not drink with him. After a couple beers and glances at your boobs, he may figure it out for himself and you wouldn't have to tell him. Just tell him you have something to tell him beforehand. If he still hasn't caught on, start dropping hints. Tell him you've been nauseous in the morning, peeing all day and your tits are leaking.... even though those are later symptoms.
He does have a slight problem with authority, trouble seems to follow him. He really is a good guy though, and he has a big heart. He's been framed with a lot of charged just recently that he didn't commit, and may go to jail unjustly. I hope that's not how it goes, he deserves another chance, he deserves to get out of this.
That may be a good idea. I don't know if he should be drinking when I tell him... I don't know. I think I will sit him down in person though. Just to show him how serious it is.
Ummm ... I think she knows all this already. She not wondering whether to tell, but how to tell.
Maybe take some time to get a better handle on an unexpected pregnancy and to put your circle of supports in place be them social, medical, family etc..
He's not going to be much help anyway and seems to have plenty of problems. A few weeks isn't going to matter. Tell him when you are better supported.