Well it all started with breast cancer I had at 19 while I was in university, had treatment for several years, finally got it all sorted about three years ago but I immediately after developed Fibromyalgia. I am sure you're aware what that is but if not, I'll just tell you that it's extremely painful and I only get 4 hours of sleep a night so it has made me suicidal several times but my therapist is helping me cope. I have been to about two dozen doctors and only now found one that seems like they'll help me get better. I guess that's because they're holistic so here's hoping. I know my coworker has it and tells me she only has issues now once a week while I get flare-ups that wake me up at night and make it extremely hard to get through my day. I can't even go grocery shopping because it's far too much pain for me, so peapod it is!
I know it's selfish because I constantly feel horrible about this since the start of him telling me about his aspirations to be a doctor. We barely get time together as is as he is two hours away at his university so we only see each other a few times a month and we'll get more time together when he gets a break from school. We do skype every day for an hour but I just love him so much that I just look forward to being able to spend time together and I fear medical school will tear us apart. I guess this also stems from the fact I haven't had much time to enjoy life yet and meeting him felt like a silver lining.
Because I'm the only child in my family and my parents divorced when I was 7, I was left living with my wheelchair bound Mother that I had to care for while she homeschooled me and I worked to help pay for things.
So I don't know what to do and I suppose I just asked this to get an idea. I guess it isn't fair to him just because I had all these difficulties. I don't want to hold him back but I don't want to lose us, you know?
I'm truly sorry for the hardships you have and continue to face. I honestly can't imagine having breast cancer at such a young age. I'm quite familiar with fibromyalgia as I myself live with depression, anxiety and myofascial pain. I know I came off all half cocked, but I was rather frustrated that you hadn't been initially forthcoming in regards to your disability which you appeared, in opinion, to use as an excuse to manipulate.
However, despite all of the pain and heartbreak you have and continue to face it's not an excuse to ask someone else to forfeit his dreams. If you love this guy as much as you claim to please don't use your life struggles as a tool to guilt him into abandoning his chosen life occupation. Try to trust your fiancée, God and the Universe on this one. If it doesn't work out as painful as that would be then it would mean that it wasn't meant to be. Neither, you nor I or anyone is entitled to dictate to another that he or she should forget about their dreams for the sake of a so called relationship.
How would you feel if he did everything your asking of him only to breakup many years down the line when he is unable to pursue medical school. How would you feel if he were to deeply resent you for the sacrifices you're expecting of him?
I sacrificed a lot to marry someone who I eventually had to divorce do to his infidelity. I regret having made those sacrifices and I still resent him to this day. In all honesty I sometimes wish I had never met him. I wish I had followed my course of study, my dreams.
Patience is a virtue!
P.S. Have you tried Cymbalta? It's done wonders for my pain and depression.
IIN to not want boyfriend to become a doctor?
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Well it all started with breast cancer I had at 19 while I was in university, had treatment for several years, finally got it all sorted about three years ago but I immediately after developed Fibromyalgia. I am sure you're aware what that is but if not, I'll just tell you that it's extremely painful and I only get 4 hours of sleep a night so it has made me suicidal several times but my therapist is helping me cope. I have been to about two dozen doctors and only now found one that seems like they'll help me get better. I guess that's because they're holistic so here's hoping. I know my coworker has it and tells me she only has issues now once a week while I get flare-ups that wake me up at night and make it extremely hard to get through my day. I can't even go grocery shopping because it's far too much pain for me, so peapod it is!
I know it's selfish because I constantly feel horrible about this since the start of him telling me about his aspirations to be a doctor. We barely get time together as is as he is two hours away at his university so we only see each other a few times a month and we'll get more time together when he gets a break from school. We do skype every day for an hour but I just love him so much that I just look forward to being able to spend time together and I fear medical school will tear us apart. I guess this also stems from the fact I haven't had much time to enjoy life yet and meeting him felt like a silver lining.
Because I'm the only child in my family and my parents divorced when I was 7, I was left living with my wheelchair bound Mother that I had to care for while she homeschooled me and I worked to help pay for things.
So I don't know what to do and I suppose I just asked this to get an idea. I guess it isn't fair to him just because I had all these difficulties. I don't want to hold him back but I don't want to lose us, you know?
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RoseIsabella
8 years ago
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I'm truly sorry for the hardships you have and continue to face. I honestly can't imagine having breast cancer at such a young age. I'm quite familiar with fibromyalgia as I myself live with depression, anxiety and myofascial pain. I know I came off all half cocked, but I was rather frustrated that you hadn't been initially forthcoming in regards to your disability which you appeared, in opinion, to use as an excuse to manipulate.
However, despite all of the pain and heartbreak you have and continue to face it's not an excuse to ask someone else to forfeit his dreams. If you love this guy as much as you claim to please don't use your life struggles as a tool to guilt him into abandoning his chosen life occupation. Try to trust your fiancée, God and the Universe on this one. If it doesn't work out as painful as that would be then it would mean that it wasn't meant to be. Neither, you nor I or anyone is entitled to dictate to another that he or she should forget about their dreams for the sake of a so called relationship.
How would you feel if he did everything your asking of him only to breakup many years down the line when he is unable to pursue medical school. How would you feel if he were to deeply resent you for the sacrifices you're expecting of him?
I sacrificed a lot to marry someone who I eventually had to divorce do to his infidelity. I regret having made those sacrifices and I still resent him to this day. In all honesty I sometimes wish I had never met him. I wish I had followed my course of study, my dreams.
Patience is a virtue!
P.S. Have you tried Cymbalta? It's done wonders for my pain and depression.