Is it normal to not know your sexuality?

I am a 29 year old virgin, that has never been in any sort of relationship, and is struggling to see the vast majority of friends, colleagues etc, moving into the next stage of their lives. My problem is I am still unsure of my sexuality, and am chronically shy, and insecure. I am attracted to both female, and male(certain types of both sexes) but am too embarrassed to approach either. My close friends know that I am a virgin, but I have kept my sexuality closely guarded to all.
What should I do next?, I am struggling.

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 20 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I've said this a million times before, but what does it really matter what your sexuality is? People so often seem to need to label themselves just so they can work out which gender they're going to try to chatting up that night. It does not matter one iota. Forget the label. Forget the box to fit neatly into. Just do what you want.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • If you don't know always asume bisexual so your never wrong

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Be honest with yourself, no matter what. It's absolutely right either way! Follow your instinct, it is your guide on the path of YOUR life.
    it will never lead you astray.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • i'm experiencing a similar problem and so i'd say is normal...with me i've always considered myself straight but have been attracte to girls too (not all just a select few), i have finally come to a point in my life where i'm willing to try out sex with another girl but the only problem is i'm also in a relationship with a guy (whom i love very much) and i don't want to cheat on him....so i'm probably bisexual but as they say you don't know till you try, so get out there and try both :)...as for me i may never know (i can see this relationship leading to marriage :D)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • There is nothing wrong with being confused about your sexual preference, we all are at some point. I agree with the person above me, that you're bisexual and should embrace it.
    This is utterly normal and the fact that you are keeping this inside is probably doing a lot of damage to you emotionally, don't let other people's opinions stop you from living your own life, live for yourself, not for anyone else.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Ignore them. It's natural to be confused but you do mention you like both sexes. So that to me tells me you may be bisexual.

    Only you can truly know who you are but I would tell you to not worry over it, sexuality is not worth stressing yourself over. Whoever you end up with in life is just that, it doesn't matter whether they are male or female. :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • PLEASE take this a a comfort and let it be freeing and relaxing. You DO KNOW your sexuality - you just don't know what to label it. You may learn even more about yourself later and want a label (please never be a slave to it) but just do you. Were not items off of fast food menus. (Ill have the number 8) there's a great twilight zone epidode where upon reaching sixteen or so everyone picked a body from a small repeatec selection (number 16 etc) you don't have to fit to something simplistic to know yourself. Maybe you're not simplistic

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • i have no idea why there is 70% saying thats normal its not normal most people do know there sexuality. but just because its not normal that does not mean its wrong. i am a 22 year old virgin but i just dont want a kid yet. but what you were saying that you like guys and chick wouldnt that make you bi-sexual.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I think that you need to just get more confident, no matter how you can do that, and start hanging out with guys and girls. Then you can see who your more attracted to and have a relationship if their into that. Also, if you happen to be bi or something, tell people that are close to you. They should know. And they won't care if they're real friends.(:

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • You might be asexual? Google "AVEN", it might make you feel better :)
    But if it's because of a lack of confidence, well just try to become friends with the people you like (without them thinking you're hitting on them). Because shy people are usually more comfortable with their friends. Then eventually you can see if they'd be willing to have a relationship with you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • It doesn't matter which sex you like your gonna fall in love with someone one day and it doesn't matter what sex they are.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • try whatever, but i truly mean this in a nice way when i say this, but you should try something soon, the older you get the harder it is to find someone,the younger you are the more attractive you are,
    you are who you are and know one can change that, go out with your friends to a club or something, you'll meet someone!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Try both

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • You sound more pansexual than bisexual.
    I'm just as shy and only attracted to girls! But if it comes to sex, I wouldn't mind a guy banging me or the other way, even though I am not interested and not attracted to males. So far I've only had intercourse with girls only, too shy or men chicken out for me to find a guy willing.
    See if your friends are interested in you or if they are keen to have sex with you providing they are single, since your friends would be the best and easiest to approach and remember, you don't have to be in a relationship to have sex, though it is best if you are!
    All the best!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Man Up.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • You'd be surprised at how little people care what your sexuality is. All my friends were cool with it and didn't give it a second thought. Your friends may wonder why you couldn't come out to them sooner, but if they are truly your friends then they will be mature about it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I don't think thats your problem. You seem to have more of a shyness problem. So do I, but thats irrelevant when it comes to relationships because I'm asexual, meaning, I don't have sexual desire/interest/attraction. I went thru a phase like you, thinking I was bi or gay or pansexual or something but in the end sexuality labels don't matter. Hold your head high and be you :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • YOU DONT HAVE A SEXUALITY! Lol jk...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • If you don't know, then you don't have any.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Get un fat u fatass and stop being gay. Lesbos r hot

    Comment Hidden ( show )