Is it normal to not have many friends in college?

83% Normal
3 Comments

I’m a 3rd year college student and I don't have many friends. I have no siblings, my mother passed away at a young age, thus I've lived most of my life very independently. The few friends I've had occurred during the late years of high school, and wound up being just a tease-as soon as college started, they all made new friends and moved on, leaving me behind. I'm not necessarily shy, since I talk to many people each day and generally have no troubles talking to new people (I even get dates with many of the girls I meet). I used to be quite shy, and I’ve learned to overcome it and have become quite confident in myself. The fact that I have few friends has always bothered me, but lately it has become progressively worse. I used to take my mind off of these feelings by working a lot and finding other productive things to do, but looking back on those experiences I find I never was happy, and was only putting a band-aid on a large wound. I am generally satisfied with my life and believe the only thing that is missing is close relationships with others. Every day I hear people talk to me about their friends and their good times with them, observe people engaging in them on campus, or see pictures of it on Facebook and I can't help but feel left out and alone. College is played up to be this amazing time of fun, friends and relationships and I have yet to see any of that.

I know what you're thinking. If I talk to so many people each day, why don't I become friends with these people? The truth is, I talk to these people, but they never enjoy my company. I mean, they will talk back, and even ask questions, but they never feel comfortable enough with me to dedicate their own free time to spend with me. Sometimes I attribute this to conflict of interests. I do not enjoy alcohol, the taste of it, smell of it, or much anything about it. I also do not enjoy watching/playing sports and I am not athletic in any way, shape, or form. I've tried everything to get over these two 'faults' and it's not going to happen. The majority of the people I meet seem to enjoy these activities, which makes me wonder if I'm alone.

And about those girls and dates I mentioned; I am always meeting new girls around campus, and typically things start off quite well. I almost always get a date with the girls who are available (not taken), and wind up getting lunch or coffee later on. Things usually go very well for the first date, and the girl usually agrees to get together again, but time-after-time I will never hear from them again. They never return calls, texts, etc. and this leaves me completely dumbfounded. If these girls are indeed this fake and are lying, they deserve an Emmy award for their efforts.

Am I alone on any of this? I'd like to think I am not, but I truly believe that I am. Any help is greatly appreciated. I feel like I am missing out on some of the greatest years of my life, and want something positive to remember when I look back on my college ye

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83% Normal
Based on 48 votes (40 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Somebody24
    14 years ago

    I feel the exact same way, at the exact same period of life as you are, in the late college years.

    The ironic thing is I first felt this in my second year, I tried to make friends, and it actually worked. For around a year or so I actually had the friends I wanted, I was next-door neigbours with someone who became one of my best friends. He was very cool and introduced me to his social circle etc, had a great time when I was with them, hung out often for most of a year. But then he finished school and left. So I guess I had a life for a year. I really miss them now.

    But now he's gone I feel as if my other friends want to do less social things and focus on their studies and stuff. The problem is I don't really enjoy studying anymore, so it gets really depressing on the friday nights when I have nothing to do or nobody to go out with.

    The worst part is I think I alienated a lot of people I could have hung out with, partially because I was/kinda still am selfish person and partially because of social inepitude. Like that friend of mine I was talking about, I remember this one night when he clearly wanted me to do something with him, but I was just kept making excuses because I was really shut down that night. I regret that because I think of what a great friend he was and I should have just hung out as a friend. So yeah, I guess I feel guilty too.

    I feel my social circle is actually shrinking, I don't even have the energy to keep trying anymore sometimes. I feel so lonely and friendless right now because most of the people I am friends are far away, and I'm not sure if things will get better once they come back.

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  • xino00
    14 years ago

    it's normal man, and don't feel jealous of others talking about their past experience with friends and looking through photos.

    You may have friends but how many of them are loyal to you?
    You may have 400 friends on facebook but how many respect you?

    Because I know when you really need help, these so called friends will turn a blind eye on you.

    So I suggest you find a friend through PenPal or Facebook. Communicate and you'll know each other well.

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  • Thecarp
    13 years ago

    Your probably just a nerd and no one like you. Try getting a personality and maybe you might have better luck. Also get contacts those glasses are not helping

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