If you're doing domination/submission games with your bf you need to learn the basic rules: the first one of which is CONSENT and the second and third are also CONSENT AND CONSENT. Are you using safe words?
Life isn't like 50 Shades of Grey, you know, where you can do anything you like to someone because it's supposedly a "romantic" relationship.
If you share this fantasy with your bf and he's turned on by it, then that's fine, but it sounds to me as if you don't want consent from him because that's what turns you on, in which case you're both playing very dangerous games which can only end in disaster for him.
Reverse the genders: what would you think of a male who wanted to impose sexual acts on a woman without her consent? Get it now?
Considering he cant use safe words, we have a safe tune...
I guess if I don't want to loose him or something worse than that, I probably should stick on the safe side.
Are you sure you know what you're doing? If he can't use a safe word because he's gagged how does he manage a tune? If I were him, I wouldn't trust you for a minute, bu then I guess he doesn't know about your rape fantasy, does he?
Oh, so you'll play safe in case you lose him of to prevent something worse, not because "playing" without consent is rape and wrong wrong WRONG
I see quite a contradiction here: you're hinting you want to do something to him without his consent? Can't you see that if he does guess what you want and consents, that's not what you want, and if he doesn't consent you really can't do it anyway? Surely it'd be better to let him know about your fantasy and if he agrees, act it out as if he's not consenting and see if you both enjoy that?
You do know the old saying in the BDSM world don't you? Fantasies are much hungrier than bodies: think about it.
In my opinion it's wrong because it's not consensual, not only because it's illegal. Do you do anything else without his consent?
I know I'm being somewhat pedantic about this, but having spent some time in the BDSM world and also worked in it for a while, I oknow there are lots of people who play safely and ethically but there are also a lot who don't, often the ones who espouse the highest principles regarding safety and consesnt but who forget them in the heat of the moment. I personally believe these practices can be addictive, in which case ethics often go out the window and someone gets hurt either physically or emotionally.
IIN to not get sexual pleasure when boyfriend consents to bondage?
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A) I know its rape. It just some how didnt hit me as rape for some reason.
B) I am a female (which may be why it didnt regester as rape right away).
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Ellenna
8 years ago
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If you're doing domination/submission games with your bf you need to learn the basic rules: the first one of which is CONSENT and the second and third are also CONSENT AND CONSENT. Are you using safe words?
Life isn't like 50 Shades of Grey, you know, where you can do anything you like to someone because it's supposedly a "romantic" relationship.
If you share this fantasy with your bf and he's turned on by it, then that's fine, but it sounds to me as if you don't want consent from him because that's what turns you on, in which case you're both playing very dangerous games which can only end in disaster for him.
Reverse the genders: what would you think of a male who wanted to impose sexual acts on a woman without her consent? Get it now?
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Anonymous Post Author
8 years ago
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Considering he cant use safe words, we have a safe tune...
I guess if I don't want to loose him or something worse than that, I probably should stick on the safe side.
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Ellenna
8 years ago
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Are you sure you know what you're doing? If he can't use a safe word because he's gagged how does he manage a tune? If I were him, I wouldn't trust you for a minute, bu then I guess he doesn't know about your rape fantasy, does he?
Oh, so you'll play safe in case you lose him of to prevent something worse, not because "playing" without consent is rape and wrong wrong WRONG
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Humming is the key... I keep hinting towards it but no, he does not know.
It's super llegally wrong but I also dont want to loose him.
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Ellenna
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I see quite a contradiction here: you're hinting you want to do something to him without his consent? Can't you see that if he does guess what you want and consents, that's not what you want, and if he doesn't consent you really can't do it anyway? Surely it'd be better to let him know about your fantasy and if he agrees, act it out as if he's not consenting and see if you both enjoy that?
You do know the old saying in the BDSM world don't you? Fantasies are much hungrier than bodies: think about it.
In my opinion it's wrong because it's not consensual, not only because it's illegal. Do you do anything else without his consent?
I know I'm being somewhat pedantic about this, but having spent some time in the BDSM world and also worked in it for a while, I oknow there are lots of people who play safely and ethically but there are also a lot who don't, often the ones who espouse the highest principles regarding safety and consesnt but who forget them in the heat of the moment. I personally believe these practices can be addictive, in which case ethics often go out the window and someone gets hurt either physically or emotionally.
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Dont listen to me... Im having a hard time understanding my own feelings.