It is normal, and it is normal to have preferences. The problem lies within how much people feel the need to bring it up.
Like if a black person, or someone of a specific group or feature, is hitting on you and you don't want that, just reject. No need to mention, "Well, you see, I just don't like black people."
There's no need for the extra specification. Just have a preference and move along.
Exactly. I don't see a problem with a preference, but it is annoying how many people I hear talking about how they just don't find black people (women especially) attractive. It's so common that I honestly wonder why people even feel the need to constantly seek validation about it.
Statistics about the fact are interesting too. We see preferences as personal, but online dating lets us see trends in those opinions. If society didn't influence our preferences, an equal amount of people would like each sub-type of race and gender. That's not the case. People dis proportionally find Asian Men and Black Women as unattractive and prefer Asian Women and White Men. It's interesting.
Of course I still don't think that OP is racist, if different races appear different then they'll obviously be to different people's tastes, but it's interesting to think about how society influences general tastes and if perhaps those influences have roots in racism.
Yeah I feel for everything you're saying, and I believe that it's definitely rooted in racism. I live in Canada, and in a coastal city that's extremely diverse. The ONLY people that I hear saying they have racial preferences are white people from white families, and I've been with plenty of non-white people before and have never heard this from them.
Similarly, I've dated a guy from Alberta, which is essentially where our super white people (I guess that's the only way I can describe it) are, and he constantly made it a point that he doesn't like "black pussy". He also commented whenever he came to visit about how "colourful" it is here and that is wasn't like how it is back home for him. Ironically, he's the only person I know that constantly uses racial slurs as jokes. There's definitely racism there as compared to here and it influences A LOT.
Same here! I come from Chicago, but I go to school in a rural state college surrounded by cornfields. I've had so many comments about my race. Men often feel the need to approach me and tell me about how they'd never date me because I'm black, even though I have a long distance boyfriend and never romantically consider them to begin with. It's jarring, ESPECIALLY when they feel the need to describe why. I think it's no coincidence that these boys talk about how they "just don't like black women" and then go into a speech about how they're ghetto, loud, and uneducated. Your preference, in that case, is rooted in blatant racism.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that boyfriend though. It sounds annoying. I almost dated a guy who was similar. He then proceeded to tell me how I was lucky my ancestors were brought here as slaves, because if not I would have been "in a desert hut with my eighth child". Thank god I dodged that bullet.
Ugh good for you for finding someone not like any of these cornfield people. I'm sorry that you're experiencing what's going on there though!!
It just sucks to think about though because imo, places like that are never truly going to lose that racial streak. They can sit and be proud that they aren't treating black people poorly, but then talk like that and that's really not going to change. Personally, I have no idea how to fix those types of problems and it grates me A LOT.
Is it normal to not find black people sexually attractive?
← View full post
It is normal, and it is normal to have preferences. The problem lies within how much people feel the need to bring it up.
Like if a black person, or someone of a specific group or feature, is hitting on you and you don't want that, just reject. No need to mention, "Well, you see, I just don't like black people."
There's no need for the extra specification. Just have a preference and move along.
--
cinderfloof
5 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Exactly. I don't see a problem with a preference, but it is annoying how many people I hear talking about how they just don't find black people (women especially) attractive. It's so common that I honestly wonder why people even feel the need to constantly seek validation about it.
Statistics about the fact are interesting too. We see preferences as personal, but online dating lets us see trends in those opinions. If society didn't influence our preferences, an equal amount of people would like each sub-type of race and gender. That's not the case. People dis proportionally find Asian Men and Black Women as unattractive and prefer Asian Women and White Men. It's interesting.
Of course I still don't think that OP is racist, if different races appear different then they'll obviously be to different people's tastes, but it's interesting to think about how society influences general tastes and if perhaps those influences have roots in racism.
--
hungDaddy
5 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Yeah I feel for everything you're saying, and I believe that it's definitely rooted in racism. I live in Canada, and in a coastal city that's extremely diverse. The ONLY people that I hear saying they have racial preferences are white people from white families, and I've been with plenty of non-white people before and have never heard this from them.
Similarly, I've dated a guy from Alberta, which is essentially where our super white people (I guess that's the only way I can describe it) are, and he constantly made it a point that he doesn't like "black pussy". He also commented whenever he came to visit about how "colourful" it is here and that is wasn't like how it is back home for him. Ironically, he's the only person I know that constantly uses racial slurs as jokes. There's definitely racism there as compared to here and it influences A LOT.
--
cinderfloof
5 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
Same here! I come from Chicago, but I go to school in a rural state college surrounded by cornfields. I've had so many comments about my race. Men often feel the need to approach me and tell me about how they'd never date me because I'm black, even though I have a long distance boyfriend and never romantically consider them to begin with. It's jarring, ESPECIALLY when they feel the need to describe why. I think it's no coincidence that these boys talk about how they "just don't like black women" and then go into a speech about how they're ghetto, loud, and uneducated. Your preference, in that case, is rooted in blatant racism.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that boyfriend though. It sounds annoying. I almost dated a guy who was similar. He then proceeded to tell me how I was lucky my ancestors were brought here as slaves, because if not I would have been "in a desert hut with my eighth child". Thank god I dodged that bullet.
--
hungDaddy
5 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Ugh good for you for finding someone not like any of these cornfield people. I'm sorry that you're experiencing what's going on there though!!
It just sucks to think about though because imo, places like that are never truly going to lose that racial streak. They can sit and be proud that they aren't treating black people poorly, but then talk like that and that's really not going to change. Personally, I have no idea how to fix those types of problems and it grates me A LOT.