IIN to not feel anything after watching someone die?

You're very welcome : )

And for the record, I don't think you're a bad person. I think everyone goes through phases in life where they are too involved with their own problems to afford concern to others, but feeling nothing might be indicative of something more.

I think "depression" is a misnomer because it doesn't always mean "feeling down." It just means that you have a chemical imbalance that keeps you from experiencing normal feelings of reward and satisfaction, and sometimes empathy or even real sorrow. It doesn't necessarily manifest itself as "feeling sad," sometimes it's more of a lack of feeling joy or motivation or connection with others. It can feel like nothingness.

I'm not a doctor, but it might be worth looking into.

I genuinely hope things get better for you, even if you aren't depressed. Everyone deserves to experience real friendships and connections. In the mean time, I'm around here from time to time if you need someone to talk to.

Good luck.