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Recently a close friend of mine, someone i looked up to, had committed suicide. I feel nothing after their passing. I feel like i should be devastated, but im not.
Sometimes deaths take time until it hits me. Others it get to me instantly. Maybe after some time you’ll feel something.
It's possible that you may be in disbelief, and still in shock about the person's decision to take their own life.
Reactions to an untimely death like this are many. But your lack of feeling does make a bit of sense. They traded their future life for nothingness. It may have been what they wanted.
Had this happen with a few people I was close to that died. For some, I didn’t feel anything (even as time passed), for others, it took a while for my brain to realize that they were really gone forever.
Don’t read into it OP. There’s a lot of things that go into mourning the loss of a loved one and it’s hard to predict how you’ll respond. It’s normal.
Felt same way you did when my paternal grandmother passed. There was no real connection there.
I felt the same when my grandmother died. She was my favourite relative. This is normal.