Is it normal to not be shown appreciation for what you do?

My husband and I have been living with my aunt, uncle and cousin for 9 months because my husband was let go from his job almost a year ago. At first it was kind of fun to be around family, especially since I thought it was going to be so temporary. Well, 9 months later he's working but is underemployed and we still don't have enough money to live on our own. Over time I started doing a lot of cleaning, cooking, and grocery shopping and now I do it all 90% of the time because every one else is lazy and depressed (they suffer from depression). Sometimes I'll get a thank you, but other times I'll bust my butt to clean, cook dinner, and clean up from it too, and no one will say anything! They all work a lot, but I still work part-time. I understand that we're living here rent free, but is it normal to let someone do all these things for you, and not even show them any appreciation??!! It makes me so angry and I want to punch them all in the face, but I'm also grateful that we have a roof over our heads because of them letting us stay here. I don't know what to do!!

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 6 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Uh, ur living rent free, isn't that 'thank you' enuff??

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  • You want appreciation because you feel dependent and you need some validation to make yourself feel worthy. I do however understanding them not dishing out compliments or thank yous because you did say you were living there rent free. Those chores shouldn't be an option because of the situation you are in (are you not working either???) and all that they are providing. Try not to stress and learn to appreciate yourself and all the hard work you are doing. Good luck!

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  • I kind of want to think, you are welcomed but not really. It sucks that your husband is underemployed, and you sound like you are doing bang up job of earning your keep. Instead of you doing all the work, i wanna ask why isn't he pitching in? If you were my sister, i'd help you the fuck out - but im more concerned that your husband doesn't appear to be as grateful.

    I may be wrong, maybe he is - but it doesn't sound that way...

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  • if i was paying no bills and no rent while living with someone for almost a year, I'd be busting my ass doing chores, too. At least you have the decency to not be a bum at their house. just keep doing what you're doing and dont get all worked up because they won't praise you. You're doing the right thing.

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  • Eh, its normal. I wouldn't thank you either. You sound too lazy.

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  • Just because she's living free in their house doesn't give them the right to gate her for granted.

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