Is it normal to not accept my boyfriends other daughter?

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13 Comments

So me and my bf been together for 3 years & know eachother for 5. We've been through alloooooot of bs in the past but now we are willing to work things out for OUR 8month old daughter. However, he has another child from a previous relationship.Long story short, he broke up with her for me AFTER they had their child 2gether. Me & the EX do not get along whatsoever & it's gotten to the point where we got into a physical altercation. His daughter is now 4yrs old but is a splitting image of her mother (his ex) Everytine she comes over its like she taunts me. I know I'm an adult I shouldnt let it get to me but She tells ne things like ..... Ha ha ur ugly. Ha ha my daddy has my picture not urs...or my daddy sleeps with me not you, My daddy dont like you..... Stuff like that plus when she is over my bf totally ignores me & she is all of a sudden the center of attetion. It's like i dont exsist AT ALL. I couldnt stand that feeling of being ignored & especially with OUR daughter in the picture now. So am I wrong for not wanting to be around him when she's around & keeping my daughter away whil she visits?& Am I in the wrong for not considering them sisters.

this is what me and my bf been arguing about for the past couple of days. I cant help what I feel.

Oh one more thing i should add, While i was pregnant he would constantly tell me his other daughter was his number 1 & I would never be in that spot. he can never love me like he loves her. .... I mean I know ur kids come b4 others but he didnt have to rub it in my face like that. he would tell her right in front of me .... "Your my number one,I love you & no one will ever change that" like seriously.....

So please, I need to hear your thoughts.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 13 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • mizzguanajuato
    11 years ago | pl

    he's wrong for telling you that his daughter is first... because you should be first and than his kids becuase ur daughter and his will grow up and marry and will leave you and him, so i think you should be fisrt and love both of the girls the same. i dont blame u

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  • danooyl
    12 years ago | pl

    The kid part is understandable but for the 'bf rubbin in part' that worries me

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  • TyLee
    12 years ago | pl

    It's time to take your daughter and leave this guy!!!!!

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  • 1hide20
    12 years ago | pl

    You need to grow up. You're letting a little girl be threat to you? The kid has separated parents, and has a new sister coming into the picture. I'm sure she is insecure, and worried about being replaced by the new daughter.

    I'm rather sorry to hear that you have a child when it sounds like you never grew up.

    Whatever the kid is, a bratt or not, she is still a kid. Not one thing that has happened is the child's fault, you have no right to feel uncomfortable or be angry at her. Whether you like it or not, that child is apart of your family as well. No one can force you to like her, but you should never treat her poorely.

    Children are innocent and can not be held responsible. Taunting? How old is she. Agreed, kids can taught. Should you let that get under your skin? Only if your age level matches hers.

    Some of the above might have sounded mean to you, but seriously have you really examined yourself or taken heed of what you have said?

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    • Stifler
      10 years ago | pl

      Oh theirs this show on tlc about CHILDREN WHO KILL PEOPLE great show...shows how evil kids can be.

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    • kayla33
      11 years ago | pl

      YOU have no right telling someone they they have no right to feel uncomfortable or angry! What a ridiculous thing to say! She has an 8 month old baby girl and I know from experience how vulnerable new mothers feel, and here she has the person that is supposed to be her partner in this telling her that she (and by extension her daughter) will never be as important to him as his other daughter? She has EVERY right to be angry. It sounds like your boyfriend needs to grow up, not you.

      And as for the child, I've been in your position, it's not really the girls fault, remember she ives with a woman who hates you, and will more than likely be trying to poison her against you, which unfortunately you can't do anything about other than be as nice to her as possible, and make sure your boyfriend sees that, so he might at some point speak to her about being nicer to you.

      Children are NOT straight up innocent, some people don't seem to understand that if children are rude to people, or obnoxious or knowingly hurtful then they need to be punished, that is exactly the problem in society today, people don't punish their children and we'll end up with a country full of chavs that have never been told they're wrong and think they're above everyone else!

      So no, you're not in the wrong, you feel what you feel because of the way you are being treated. This all stems from the ex girlfriend if you think about it, she's the one that's insecure. I don't see that a child that is this vindictive towards you would be healthy to have around your baby, so if you feel better keeping them apart, then that is exactly what you should do because the baby is YOURS, and is your number 1 priority. I think you should go and stay with your parents for a while, or a friend or brother or sister, then maybe not seeing you both every day will make him realise that he is taking you for granted

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  • instazombiinaboxx
    12 years ago | pl

    She's a child who's father left her mother for another woman, you being the other woman. You need to understand that it does something to a child to see that. It isn't right and you basically broke up her family. You're just lucky she isn't old enough to resent you for it. She's jealous because she doesn't have her daddy around as much anymore because he is with You, so of course she's a little mean. He has a new family and so It's actually very important that she knows she isn't being replaced by the new baby.

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  • femmefatale12
    12 years ago | pl

    You're the adult, grow up. Quit resenting a child!

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  • kitty_patrol
    12 years ago | pl

    Understandable but the little girl maybe is upset because her parents aren't together anymore.

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  • Stifler
    10 years ago | pl

    Oh grow up! just leave the fucking basterds! if they gonna treat you like than than either kick them out of YOUR house or leave THEIR house!

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  • :)BABYDOLL:)
    12 years ago | pl

    Join " I hate my stepdaughter group" with personal stories,forums and chat with other familys that have the same issues you are not the only one going through this. Just go to_ ihatemystepdaughtergroup.com

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  • slytheringirl
    12 years ago | pl

    I understand that you are hurt and upset but u should really look at things from that childs point of view. Her father left her mother for u and do u expect her to warm up to u right away? And instead of resenting this child, try to bond with her. Lt her know that u will be a strong female presence in her life. Good luck. God bless.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    the child has been alive on this earth for 4 years. speaking for 2.
    You are mean and cruel (and probly incredibly stupid)

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