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I always have these low points where sometimes i resort to bad choices that i know will just bring me into more sadness. For example i go online and search things up and read blogs about people saying these qualities i have are disgusting ( fat, ugly ).
It sounds like you enjoy being sad, I've actually heard of something similar to this a number of times on this site. It's like some people find comfort in misery. While I can't actually say if this is normal or not, I personally do not see it as healthy. Alternatively, try looking at positive things, such as inspirational stories or quotes. Things that will make you smile, as opposed to making you cry. I honestly think that this is a habit that you should try to break.
Did u know ur thoughts create your own reality, so u have a choice , so if u want to be happy instead, u can. Spend some time bonding with nature, sunbathe, etc. nature is beautiful. Appreciate it, &meditate on that. Try to find.your true purpose in life by just relaxation and feeling appreciation for this point in time! Post 2012 our sun has changed to white! Check it out! Find yourself..