Is it normal to make major change in my anal exploration.

In the spring of 2010 I purchased a Stryker dildo/vibe that was 10" x 6.5" because I seriously thought girth was the pay off for me during anal stimulation. Unfortunately while using the big monster, I tore or created a tear in my anus. I bled like I was a stuck pig! Scared me to death! I decided that if I am going to continue anal play sexually either alone or with a partner then I will certainly consult with a proctologist at least once a year for a check up. Luckily I was not chastised for my anal play, but given information that was instructive and preventative. He also prescribed an ointment that I apply to my anus and perineum to prevent irritation from moisture and anal play. I then made a conscious decision to get rid of the monster and lower my sights. While shopping for a replacement I stumbled across a dildo/vibe that was 8" x 4.5" with a vibrator about 1/3 of the way up. I brought it home and tried it out and the sensation was very pleasurable and the orgasm note worthy. I also purchased a butt plug as well. I had a pen pal on the internet that swore by her butt plug! She described using it during the daytime when her husband was at work and just relaxing. This plug I bought does not fit properly: with lubrication on it, it slips out. If anyone has a suggestion on how to size these butt plugs, I am all ears. I have noted some that are really large towards the bottom and I am not sure about the girth. There are a few more good sex shops in town so I will continue looking for a suitable one. I do not want to do anal masturbation every day but anal stimulation frequently would be exciting and fulfilling. The monster dildo/vibe went into the garbage; I almost sent it to my ex-wife since she provided sex to me once a year whether I needed or not. Of course everybody else was getting her everyday!! (Cheap shot!) I do not have to worry about her reading this because any thing sexual she avoided like she avoided my genitalia! The last piece of news is I met someone on the NET that is willing to do strap on sex with me. She lives near central Ohio but that is not far. I am excitedly cautious since I have been here before. We have e-mail back and forth for a couple of weeks. I will see what happens.