Oh no, sweetie & my heart breaks for you, having to go through this. My brother suffered from bullimia.
500-800 calories a day combined with your low bmi would class you as anorexic. This, unfortunately, is THE most deadly mental disorder, hands down. The mortality rate is incredibly high. This disease is evil & unfortunately it progresses (gets more severe the longer you have it). If you don't get some help, you will go further down the hole.
The fact that you feel like shit already is your body telling you that something is very, very wrong. It is not normal to feel like shit & it will only get worse if you continue down this path.
Here's some of the symptoms you have to look forward to: exhaustion, diziness, fainting, hair growth all over the body (due to low body temperature), premature aging of the skin, hair loss, loss of circulation, fingernail loss, bone loss, loss of fertility, insomnia due to pain while lying down, possible loss of digestive function (think feeding tubes & colostomy bags), brain shrinkage & loss of mental faculties, dimentia, organ failure & ultimately heart failure due to lack of potassium.
I hope you are scared. You should be. You are on the path to a very painful & miserable & lonely death if you do not get help.
The root of this disease is different for different people. It can be anything from an ashetic desire for thinness, to a desire for control, to a desire to punish yourself. No matter what it is for you, it us obviously a source of pain. It is not normal to live like this, in pain. It is not normal to trade your future for something that won't even fulfil you in the present or ever be enough.
IIN to maintain a bmi of 18
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Oh no, sweetie & my heart breaks for you, having to go through this. My brother suffered from bullimia.
500-800 calories a day combined with your low bmi would class you as anorexic. This, unfortunately, is THE most deadly mental disorder, hands down. The mortality rate is incredibly high. This disease is evil & unfortunately it progresses (gets more severe the longer you have it). If you don't get some help, you will go further down the hole.
The fact that you feel like shit already is your body telling you that something is very, very wrong. It is not normal to feel like shit & it will only get worse if you continue down this path.
Here's some of the symptoms you have to look forward to: exhaustion, diziness, fainting, hair growth all over the body (due to low body temperature), premature aging of the skin, hair loss, loss of circulation, fingernail loss, bone loss, loss of fertility, insomnia due to pain while lying down, possible loss of digestive function (think feeding tubes & colostomy bags), brain shrinkage & loss of mental faculties, dimentia, organ failure & ultimately heart failure due to lack of potassium.
I hope you are scared. You should be. You are on the path to a very painful & miserable & lonely death if you do not get help.
The root of this disease is different for different people. It can be anything from an ashetic desire for thinness, to a desire for control, to a desire to punish yourself. No matter what it is for you, it us obviously a source of pain. It is not normal to live like this, in pain. It is not normal to trade your future for something that won't even fulfil you in the present or ever be enough.
Please, please go get help.