Read the post again: they weren't "taken from him", he left their mother, moved interstate and remarried. Now he's putting the responsibility for that on to his sons: maybe he should've thought of that in the first place before he put his new wife before his boys.
Me and their mother divorced and we got shared physical custody [they lived with BOTH of us for at least 9 years]. The youngest was 3 when we divorced and was 12 when I moved out of state. I raised and shared life with them for all their childhood until they reached teenage years[oldest was 14 and youngest was 12] when I left the state. They both lived with me and their stepmother for half the year for 9 years before we left the state.
Your original post said you remarried, moved interstate and begged the boys to visit you, implying this didn't happen.
Now you're saying something completely different, that there was contact until they were 12 and 14: not good ages for their father to move far away and it appears ask them to leave their mother to live with you and their stepmother.
It didn't all happen over night. There was time between divorce, remarried, move out of state.
YOU ASSUMED...or is this the "All Men Lie" thing.?
Didn't think I needed to put exact dates and times in order for people to follow along.
On April 15th 2003 at 9:15am the divorce between me and my sons mother was finalized. At that time me and their mother obtained joint shared physical custody. On April 16th 10am both children came to live with me for a six month duration. Exactly 3 years 2 days later I married their step mother on April 17th 2006.....do I really need to say all of this????
Yeah I did assume, based on your incomplete information and you didn't need to go to the other extreme with precise dates and times!
Now that I have more information, have you actually listened to how your sons feel about you leaving them when you moved interstate? Did you ask them at the time how they felt about it and explain your reasons for doing so?
Not going to debate semantics: fact is he was unable to see, raise and share in the life of his boys. Maybe you think he should've suffered himself and his family through a bad marriage. Can't think that's anything but naive.
Divorce is ideally a process where two adults can agree to separate while they both remain in the lives of their kids. Unfortunately fathers are routinely shafted.
I don't think any such thing, but parental separation can be managed in a way which doesn't result in one parent moving to another state with a new partner. I guess that would make him "unable" to share in the life of his boys, but was he abducted interstate at gunpoint? He's the adult, he made the choices and now he's whingeing about the consequences.
Unfortunately, fathers often leave children when they leave partners and then complain they're estranged from their children.
I think this Ellenna person jumped to conclusions and probably is the type that thinks all men are alike. I've seen many of that type. As my post states below I raised my sons in joint physical custody for many years before I left the state. In fact they lived with me and my wife [their step mother] for a good 9 years. Their step mother treated them 10 times better than their own mother. She completely accepted them and loved and nurtured them, even going as so far as setting up a college fund for both of them by herself.
IIN to love your adult children even though they hate you?
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Read the post again: they weren't "taken from him", he left their mother, moved interstate and remarried. Now he's putting the responsibility for that on to his sons: maybe he should've thought of that in the first place before he put his new wife before his boys.
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riffraffy
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Let me clear some things up.
Me and their mother divorced and we got shared physical custody [they lived with BOTH of us for at least 9 years]. The youngest was 3 when we divorced and was 12 when I moved out of state. I raised and shared life with them for all their childhood until they reached teenage years[oldest was 14 and youngest was 12] when I left the state. They both lived with me and their stepmother for half the year for 9 years before we left the state.
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Ellenna
7 years ago
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That contradicts your original post.
I suggest you ask them what's going on and then listen.
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Anonymous Post Author
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What contradicts?
Show a contradiction PLEASE
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Ellenna
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Your original post said you remarried, moved interstate and begged the boys to visit you, implying this didn't happen.
Now you're saying something completely different, that there was contact until they were 12 and 14: not good ages for their father to move far away and it appears ask them to leave their mother to live with you and their stepmother.
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It didn't all happen over night. There was time between divorce, remarried, move out of state.
YOU ASSUMED...or is this the "All Men Lie" thing.?
Didn't think I needed to put exact dates and times in order for people to follow along.
On April 15th 2003 at 9:15am the divorce between me and my sons mother was finalized. At that time me and their mother obtained joint shared physical custody. On April 16th 10am both children came to live with me for a six month duration. Exactly 3 years 2 days later I married their step mother on April 17th 2006.....do I really need to say all of this????
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Ellenna
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Yeah I did assume, based on your incomplete information and you didn't need to go to the other extreme with precise dates and times!
Now that I have more information, have you actually listened to how your sons feel about you leaving them when you moved interstate? Did you ask them at the time how they felt about it and explain your reasons for doing so?
Not going to debate semantics: fact is he was unable to see, raise and share in the life of his boys. Maybe you think he should've suffered himself and his family through a bad marriage. Can't think that's anything but naive.
Divorce is ideally a process where two adults can agree to separate while they both remain in the lives of their kids. Unfortunately fathers are routinely shafted.
--
Ellenna
7 years ago
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I don't think any such thing, but parental separation can be managed in a way which doesn't result in one parent moving to another state with a new partner. I guess that would make him "unable" to share in the life of his boys, but was he abducted interstate at gunpoint? He's the adult, he made the choices and now he's whingeing about the consequences.
Unfortunately, fathers often leave children when they leave partners and then complain they're estranged from their children.
I think this Ellenna person jumped to conclusions and probably is the type that thinks all men are alike. I've seen many of that type. As my post states below I raised my sons in joint physical custody for many years before I left the state. In fact they lived with me and my wife [their step mother] for a good 9 years. Their step mother treated them 10 times better than their own mother. She completely accepted them and loved and nurtured them, even going as so far as setting up a college fund for both of them by herself.