For many people, I'm sure this wouldn't be an acceptable intimate situation, but as long as everything is honest between each party and no one is getting hurt, then there's nothing wrong with this situation. Here, it sounds like everyone knows what is going on and is ok with it.
Usually, when someone has an affair outside of an existing relationship, what makes it wrong is that the agreement -- explicit or implicit -- was broken, that someone didn't keep their commitment. It's [not] the existence of a third person in the relationship that is itself what makes it wrong.
If someone ends up getting hurt from this, then it's either because they weren't honest about being ok with the situation or they changed their mind afterwards (in which case the other two people can't be faulted, and perhaps not the first person either -- we all reevaluate things, right?). I hope it continues to work out.
Thank you. So far, neither seems to mind. Sometimes we even all go out together. They won't both be in the bedroom at the same time though. That was part of the agreement.
You're welcome. It takes a lot of maturity on all sides to have a relationship like this.
For whatever it's worth, in college I had a classmate friend who lived with his girlfriend and during one period they were inviting over another woman for what sounded like threesomes (if I remember right). In private, the girlfriend told me that she just didn't feel totally comfortable with having another woman around and that she found herself "acting like a jerk" towards the other woman during dinner or whatever. Understandable.
So hats off to the two men your with for being able to keep things emotionally in balance.
Is it normal to love two men?
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For many people, I'm sure this wouldn't be an acceptable intimate situation, but as long as everything is honest between each party and no one is getting hurt, then there's nothing wrong with this situation. Here, it sounds like everyone knows what is going on and is ok with it.
Usually, when someone has an affair outside of an existing relationship, what makes it wrong is that the agreement -- explicit or implicit -- was broken, that someone didn't keep their commitment. It's [not] the existence of a third person in the relationship that is itself what makes it wrong.
If someone ends up getting hurt from this, then it's either because they weren't honest about being ok with the situation or they changed their mind afterwards (in which case the other two people can't be faulted, and perhaps not the first person either -- we all reevaluate things, right?). I hope it continues to work out.
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Thank you. So far, neither seems to mind. Sometimes we even all go out together. They won't both be in the bedroom at the same time though. That was part of the agreement.
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7 years ago
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You're welcome. It takes a lot of maturity on all sides to have a relationship like this.
For whatever it's worth, in college I had a classmate friend who lived with his girlfriend and during one period they were inviting over another woman for what sounded like threesomes (if I remember right). In private, the girlfriend told me that she just didn't feel totally comfortable with having another woman around and that she found herself "acting like a jerk" towards the other woman during dinner or whatever. Understandable.
So hats off to the two men your with for being able to keep things emotionally in balance.