Is it normal to love cutting off my relationships?
I think I only date people so I can reject them once they start to get attached. It's the same with friends too. Perhaps it's thanks to a lifetime of being submitted to abuse, beating and manipulation, but I can't really enjoy any kind of interaction. Actually, I feel like I really hate or at least dislike almost everyone. People usually don't notice, since I can laugh and act, but it's the truth. While I don't want to hurt people, I really love discarding them and cutting off our bonds. It'not really the pain from the other person that makes me excited, but rather how it makes me feel about myself. I have to force myself through every relationship, but ending it gives a nice feeling of relief and freedom. To me, it's like reaffirming that I belong only to myself, and that I don't need to sumbit to others. While having a boyfriend damages my self-esteem, dumping him makes me feel great and even love myself a little. Is it too wrong?