Is it normal to lose my self confidence so fast?

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14 Comments

My friend and I decided to body box. I knew I would lose, but he really wanted to. So I said yes. He is a good 50-70 pounds heavier than me. I easily took him down in the begining, but he stayed on me, and i couldnt get him off. So he choked me out and i lost.
I thought i was kind of strong for my age, but after that, i feel like nothing. I feel like a weak loser. Two of my friends were there to watch it, and they thought it was funny. I know i can beat up my two friends that made fun of me. But i feel like a weakling because i couldnt beat my friend.
I know that my friend was 50-70 pounds heavier than me, and i knew i would lose. But i feel so ashamed of myself. I feel the need to work out and improve. I just dont know if its normal to lose that much self confidence so fast.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • flutterhigh
    11 years ago | pl

    Duh, everyone knows that self-worth is entirely determined by punching.

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  • nixon02
    11 years ago | pl

    The wise man fights with his head, not his hands. That is the way of the peaceful warrior.

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  • Gratata
    7 years ago | pl

    somebody insulted me a few days ago, and it brought me really down.
    but then a good friend of mine said, relax you are great in your own way :D.
    and zaid that i should act confident to get confident and it really worked, and so are you great in you own way

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  • YouKnowWho
    11 years ago | pl

    It's got to do with instincts, I believe. The feeling you get from losing once is much stronger than the one you get from winning three times or something (I made up the numbers, but you get it.)

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  • LarkaA
    11 years ago | pl

    It's completely normal. Even healthy, if it drives you to better yourself.

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago | pl

    It doesn't mean you're less of a man, it means he's more a lard sack.

    You can workout if you want to get bigger but there will always be a bigger guy there ready to sit on you.

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  • MRmr
    11 years ago | pl

    Just do what every protagonist in an anime/manga does..train and kick his ass next time

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago | pl

    I have always been a fairly small guy compared to the company I keep. And as a kid I could never take any of my friends in a fight or boxing match, however I work out regularly and have trained in several different styles of fighting (as well as being mouthy when I drink and having to defend my loud ass a lot)

    Now very few people can take me (which prolly feeds my ego too much) and I have much more self confidence because of this. Although I admit that myself, as well as most guys derive so much of their self identity from how they compare physically to the next guy. If you want to be able to take your friends, work at it!

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago | pl

    Fighting is seen as pretty masculine, which is why you probably feel your masculinity. However, I think that its normal to lose confidence after losing pretty much any competition. If you want to work out then do so and challenge him again. But keep in mind that there will probably always be someone who is stronger and weaker than you.

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    • Devyn
      11 years ago | pl

      The idea of the more masculine a man is the better has always confused me. I really don't get how someone's worth can be measured by how much they conform to a gender stereotype.

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      • Anime7
        11 years ago | pl

        Gender stereotypes is that they act as definitions. Men are suppose to be strong, and since most people believe this, it's only natural a person to want to be accepted by his peers. It's no different than having your worth being measured by the jealousy of the people around you. Does that make sense?

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