Is it normal to live in a paradox?

Don't worry about how good you think you'll be at it. Just start with the most basic particle physics. Don't jump into anything like quantum physics for a while though or you'll be lost. It's one thing to read something, it's a whole other thing to completely understand it. If you're just interested in the beginning of life as we know it, it's quite easy to find information on that as well. Also while god might exist, there is no reason for him to and it wouldn't matter to me at all if there wasn't a god. I don't get why people need a higher meaning to life. Just being alive, conscious and able to think through things like this is an amazing thing and the product of millions of years of slow evolution and change. I think it's fucking fantastic just to sit back and contemplate it a bit. Life is amazing.