I am sure you were only able to surpress your feelings for your friend's sake, so that you wouldn't cause any hurt between the two of you. I bet you liked him all along and it's totally normal that you still do. You should not feel awful at all, you cannot control who you are really attracted to! If you are meant to be together you will be. :)
Is It Normal To Like My Good Friend's Ex
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I am sure you were only able to surpress your feelings for your friend's sake, so that you wouldn't cause any hurt between the two of you. I bet you liked him all along and it's totally normal that you still do. You should not feel awful at all, you cannot control who you are really attracted to! If you are meant to be together you will be. :)