I guess I am attracted to this type of person. I went out with an intelligent, interesting, fun loving guy for two years. He turned out to be extremely depressed and psychotic. He was mentally and physically abusive ans The reltionship completely turned my life upside down. I just don't understand why I am continuously attracted to these guys that are intelligent, but degrading and mentally unstable. Is it because I have such a lack of self Esteme that I need to fill it with the idea of confidence that ends up being false? I really don't know where to go from here
It's hard knowing how someone really is until you spend a lot of time with them.
For example you wrote
"I went out with an intelligent, interesting, fun loving guy for two years. "
It seems those were the qualities you liked and you didn't find out he was
"He turned out to be extremely depressed and psychotic. He was mentally and physically abusive "
until later.
Once you found that out you should of either tried to help him and fix your relationship with him or if he was really messed or you unhappy then leave the relationship.
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong up front.
Anyway I think most people in life are not very quality people so I'd recommend you take your time before jumping in a bed/a relationship with a guy so you really get to know him - the real him before you get too attached or involved.
Girls that do like a guy when they know he's a jerk do suffer from low self worth and are also probably very immature still. They don't know that those guys aren't worth being involved with and good guys are much better and provide a better relationship experience.
That's part of the learning / dating process I suppose so you or others shouldn't feel down on yourself for making those mistakes. Just slow things down and try to get to know a guy before you get involved with him sexually and emotionally.
Is it normal to like a guy even though he is a jerk?
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I guess I am attracted to this type of person. I went out with an intelligent, interesting, fun loving guy for two years. He turned out to be extremely depressed and psychotic. He was mentally and physically abusive ans The reltionship completely turned my life upside down. I just don't understand why I am continuously attracted to these guys that are intelligent, but degrading and mentally unstable. Is it because I have such a lack of self Esteme that I need to fill it with the idea of confidence that ends up being false? I really don't know where to go from here
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Management_sucks
9 years ago
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It's hard knowing how someone really is until you spend a lot of time with them.
For example you wrote
"I went out with an intelligent, interesting, fun loving guy for two years. "
It seems those were the qualities you liked and you didn't find out he was
"He turned out to be extremely depressed and psychotic. He was mentally and physically abusive "
until later.
Once you found that out you should of either tried to help him and fix your relationship with him or if he was really messed or you unhappy then leave the relationship.
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong up front.
Anyway I think most people in life are not very quality people so I'd recommend you take your time before jumping in a bed/a relationship with a guy so you really get to know him - the real him before you get too attached or involved.
Girls that do like a guy when they know he's a jerk do suffer from low self worth and are also probably very immature still. They don't know that those guys aren't worth being involved with and good guys are much better and provide a better relationship experience.
That's part of the learning / dating process I suppose so you or others shouldn't feel down on yourself for making those mistakes. Just slow things down and try to get to know a guy before you get involved with him sexually and emotionally.