Is it normal to lie to your family and then hate yourself for it?

my parents split when i was little. My mom met a new guy and he is awesome and i treat him like hes my real dad. About a year ago, i started doing drugs and moved out and i wanted to get clean. so i called my biological father and he said i could live with him to get away from drugs. once i got there, i lied and said some things about my step dad and my mom that werent true. they took me to some phsycologists and phsyciatrist and i lied to them to s they diagnosed me with a bunch of stuff i dont have. 9 months later i moved back to my moms and step dads house and told them i lied about it. now my biological father wont let me live. he calls my sister and does nothing but talk about me and how screwed up i am. i know what i did was horrible and wrong and i cant forgive myself. But my real dad wont leave me alone and he left 12 years ago and now he wants to be in my life and try to control me. I just want some peace. Everyone knows i lied, we all get that. my mom and my step dad forgive me. My real dad wont and i called him to try to tell him to just stop the drama and i lost my temper and he lost his sanity and started making fun of me over the phone and saying stuff ive heard my 5 year old nephew say. it was absolutely ridiculous. i said some hurtful things to him but thats because he just wont stop with the drama. I just need some help on how to come to peace with myself and with the situation. At this point i feel hopeless and i dont even want to be a person anymore. i would rather just stay in my room and never come out. help me please....