How can you say shedding light on your insecurities is -always- a turn off to a confident/guy? Everyone's different. I assure you there are super confident guys out there for whom confident women are a turn off because it's an ego clash or whatever. For me, a girl who's confident, is able to have her own opinion, stands up for herself, is incredibly sexy but all that is worth nothing if she is not grounded/courageous enough to admit or talk about her insecurities/flaws. But again, that is just my preference and not something someone needs to live upto.
I seem to have a bit in common with your bf so I'll give you some insight. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so sometimes I treat others the same way and urge them to improve themselves in various ways, which often results in pointing out what they're lacking in or need to work towards instead of acknowledging what they're already good at. Your post makes me realize I need to make a conscious effort to do the latter, because I certainly do appreciate people, just not out loud. Maybe he's the same way?
Also, there are two contradicting statements in your original post. Don't you think if he truly wanted to broaden his horizons he would be interested in the things you're educated about? I say this because I myself am absolutely obsessed with learning and I don't discount nor dismiss any field of study, because you may never know if a concept in X subject allows you to view Y subject in a completely new light. For all you know, the reason he might be reluctant to learn more from you is because he's insecure that you know more about it than him. Not very many men out there can handle a woman being better than them at anything, mind you.
I understand it hurts not feeling needed or appreciated it any relationship, but you shouldn't ever feel like you need to live upto someone's standards nor feel apologetic if you can't.
He's also a perfectionist and whenever I dont know something, he tries to enlighten me but he does it like in an impatient way that makes me feel like hes looking down on me. It would be different if he tried helping me in a more patient and open way without being intimidating and offensive.
Well maybe that is something to consider. I didn't think that was a possibility. He might be intimidated by me knowing so much of a certain subject and he acts like whatever about it because he doesn't want to come off as clueless. But since he is open about liking to learn now things, shouldn't he be open about learning whatever I know? not shrug it off.
The best thing that can happen is if he appreciates me for who I am without me trying to be better for him. He does make me want to be a better person in a positive way but it has taken a toll on my self-esteem unfortunately.
IIN to legitimately feel not good enough for someone?
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How can you say shedding light on your insecurities is -always- a turn off to a confident/guy? Everyone's different. I assure you there are super confident guys out there for whom confident women are a turn off because it's an ego clash or whatever. For me, a girl who's confident, is able to have her own opinion, stands up for herself, is incredibly sexy but all that is worth nothing if she is not grounded/courageous enough to admit or talk about her insecurities/flaws. But again, that is just my preference and not something someone needs to live upto.
I seem to have a bit in common with your bf so I'll give you some insight. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so sometimes I treat others the same way and urge them to improve themselves in various ways, which often results in pointing out what they're lacking in or need to work towards instead of acknowledging what they're already good at. Your post makes me realize I need to make a conscious effort to do the latter, because I certainly do appreciate people, just not out loud. Maybe he's the same way?
Also, there are two contradicting statements in your original post. Don't you think if he truly wanted to broaden his horizons he would be interested in the things you're educated about? I say this because I myself am absolutely obsessed with learning and I don't discount nor dismiss any field of study, because you may never know if a concept in X subject allows you to view Y subject in a completely new light. For all you know, the reason he might be reluctant to learn more from you is because he's insecure that you know more about it than him. Not very many men out there can handle a woman being better than them at anything, mind you.
I understand it hurts not feeling needed or appreciated it any relationship, but you shouldn't ever feel like you need to live upto someone's standards nor feel apologetic if you can't.
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He's also a perfectionist and whenever I dont know something, he tries to enlighten me but he does it like in an impatient way that makes me feel like hes looking down on me. It would be different if he tried helping me in a more patient and open way without being intimidating and offensive.
Well maybe that is something to consider. I didn't think that was a possibility. He might be intimidated by me knowing so much of a certain subject and he acts like whatever about it because he doesn't want to come off as clueless. But since he is open about liking to learn now things, shouldn't he be open about learning whatever I know? not shrug it off.
The best thing that can happen is if he appreciates me for who I am without me trying to be better for him. He does make me want to be a better person in a positive way but it has taken a toll on my self-esteem unfortunately.