Is it normal to kiss this way?

I have kissed three different guys. The first one was my first ever boyfriend. We probably kissed twice and it was very harsh and aggressive. Now when I think about it, I regret it. The second guy I kissed was very aggressive as well. He bit my lips so hard, I thought they were almost going to bleed. I hated it so much. I never talked to that guy ever again. The third guy I kissed was very gentle and it was almost like a peck on the lips. I really liked it but I never got to meet that guy again.
Now what I want to know is, do people really kiss so aggressively like that? It feels so uncomfortable and irritating!

Voting Results
26% Normal
Based on 31 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • dude_Jones

    It has been said that people who were breast fed as infants (like me) are better kissers as adults. Find a guy who was breast fed, and see what you think. Just know that he may have high standards for women to have expressive touch and sensuality with her lips.

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    • Inkmaster

      Kind of an awkward thing to ask before the first kiss, don't you think?

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  • Boojum

    Kissing techniques are not taught on any school curriculum, so who knows where any of those guys got the idea that what they were doing was the right way to kiss. Probably from watching porn or from talking to equally idiotic and clueless friends.

    As you recognise, the first two guys were excessively aggressive, the second to such a degree that what he did probably would count as some sort of assault since he drew blood. Some people are into really rough play, but that's an advanced area and something that requires a good understanding of what the other person wants and how to avoid going too far.

    It sounds like the third guy went to the other extreme, since a peck on the lips in no way exploits the full potential of kissing. A really good kiss should last a lot longer than a moment and leave you breathless (and not because it feels like the guy has super-glued his lips to yours), your heart pounding, your head spinning and other bits of you tingling like crazy. In other words, it should be a hell of a lot more than merely pleasant.

    As always, if a guy is doing things that feel unpleasant or painful, you have the right to tell him to stop. Young guys being young guys (and therefore generally full of shit), you have to expect that some will tell you that you're weird or frigid or even worse, but the truth is that they're faking it because they don't have much experience and so they really haven't a clue about what they're doing and even less of an idea of what a girl wants or might enjoy.

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  • Shyflasher

    Try slow and passionate. Its more enjoyable

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  • Sleepykitten

    I think there's a big range of kisses that different people enjoy; some people enjoy them wet, some like them dry, some like them very gentle and some like them more rough. I think people couple up with other people who like the same kinds of kisses they do, and since we don't go around kissing everyone we meet, none of us ever figure out that the way we like to kiss isn't considered ideal by most of the population.

    Then there are also people who kiss so badly it falls outside of the range of what anyone would find enjoyable. I like being kissed roughly, including some nibbles, but it's hard to tell from your description whether I would enjoy these kisses or not. Did it just seem like he was going to bite your lip off because you prefer gentler kisses or is this guy an actual psycho who's amputated multiple women at the lips?

    Anyway, if you don't like how someone kisses, tell them to stop. I don't think it's worth it to "kiss train" someone because if they want to kiss differently from how you want to kiss, you're probably not romantically-compatible. But at anytime during the hand-holding, kissing, sexytime stage, if you don't like what's going on, you have 110% permission to bail.

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    • VintageVelvet

      Both of the guys who kissed aggressively where inexperienced with women. So, I think that's the reason they were like this.

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      • Sleepykitten

        That's probably at least part of the story, but they also felt that this aggressive way of kissing was a good way to go. Maybe they were nervous and heard that women like aggressive men, or maybe that felt natural for them. Either way, it's not your problem. You didn't enjoy the kisses, so you weren't compatible physically. If their aggressive kissing is in the range of what women-who-like-aggressive-kissing want, they'll find one and live happily ever after. Otherwise they'll stumble around for awhile, learn to kiss more gently and find someone else. Exes Who Are Bad Kissers are firmly in the realm of stuff that isn't your problem. If you want to push them in the right direction you can tell them you felt the kissing was too aggressive, but it's not really your responsibility to do that.

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  • ellnell

    I've never kissed someone who kisses agressively. I personally prefer soft kisses and not a big fan of tounge kissing to be honest but i'm okay with it.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Unfortunately, some people are awful kissers.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Me according to my latest lay lol

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      • RoseIsabella

        She said you weren't a good kisser?

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          Yes. She said I was horrible. Help me Rose I need an ego boost.
          :(

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          • RoseIsabella

            I'm sorry, but I'm not here to give people ego boosts. I could perhaps give advice, but not a straight up ego boost, because that's not my style.

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  • I’ve never had a guy kiss me aggressively right off more of something that gradually happens but I’m one to make it that way. But even then it’s not exactly aggressive. I like lip bites but not hard to the point of bleeding that’s to much. Sounds like you got hit with some inexperienced guys?

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  • The_Judge

    Passion is a really interesting matter in love. The drive is so strong that it can make people do things they wouldn't do in other circumstances. You should be able to communicate with people avout how you feel and what you l8ke though.

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  • bigbudchonga

    Probably. Idk how to kiss really. You just sort of go for it. Maybe the aggression is them trying hard? I reckon most guys don't really know, you just sort of dive in.

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    I finally kissed a girl for the first time about a month ago and I was very aggressive alright, lol. I was absolutely pissed drunk though. Good thing too or I would've been shitting myself that I wasn't doing it right, I knew I wasn't, but I was just too drunk to care.

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