Thanks, I concur and well said. Keeping the emails almost feels like the person is still alive. Once I delete them it'll feel very finalistic.
It's a funny thing, we were great lovers and towards the end we had some blow-out arguments. But then just as this person knew they were dying (from cancer), I sensed it too, we got our chance to say our final goodbye and share our feelings of how we felt about each other.
We actually hadn't talked for a long time but I decided to start things up and my timing couldn't have been better because he/she (I prefer to keep it gender neutral) only had a couple of months to live.
If this person passed away, I think it would've been far worse because I wouldn't have been able to clear the air and say what one would to a great friend/lover who is dying. So that meant a lot.
I really don't look forward to the passing away of close family. With friends I'll miss them, but I don't think I'll be as broke up over their loss as someone like a lover/spouse or family member.
That's really special that you had the chance to say goodbye and talk about the past together. It's not often that people are afforded such an opportunity.
It's interesting that you sensed it and felt compelled to reach out. And good that you didn't dismiss the instinct because so many people do and miss out.
I wanted to add one more thing. In your future relationship(s), if it ever comes up, don't allow anyone to bully you into eliminating those emails. Some might feel threatened by it and ask you to do something like that, but don't do it - they are just being unfair in their insecurities.
I appreciate your kind words. Indeed, I was just very fortunate to give my "last respects' to the person directly while they were still alive, rather than in a eulogy while weeping over their grave.
I just happen to be a highly intuitive person-lucky gift I was born with and serves me well in my relationships and career. I'm also glad I tuned in at the right time.
Mind your this gift of intuition is also a double-edge sword, I can sense bad things about to happen and it usually turns out to be right (though not always which is a blessing in a way).
Thanks for your advice-I think those who had suggested to delete the emails were well-intentioned but perhaps this is how they would try to cope with the loss of a loved-one.
I value everyone's opinion here and it helped me to weigh it out better and to your credit (and those who shared your perspective), I have also felt it's best to hold onto the emails for now, until one day I am ready to let them go (if ever).
Just to clarify though, I wasn't referring to the other commentors here who suggested you delete them, I was talking about people who you might be romantically involved with in the future. They might not understand and be angry if they knew you kept letters from a former lover (deceased or not); some people are jealous of past relationships and refuse to tolerate any reminders of their partner's past experiences.
No problem, even if you were referring to others, I know you meant well and that's all that counts. Also I do like strong, even contentious opinions because they help you look at things from a different perspective sometimes.
But I agree with you, I'd probably just keep this to myself anyways unless I was planning to get married-then I might share that information with the future spouse.
IIN to keep someone's letters/emails after they have passed away?
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Thanks, I concur and well said. Keeping the emails almost feels like the person is still alive. Once I delete them it'll feel very finalistic.
It's a funny thing, we were great lovers and towards the end we had some blow-out arguments. But then just as this person knew they were dying (from cancer), I sensed it too, we got our chance to say our final goodbye and share our feelings of how we felt about each other.
We actually hadn't talked for a long time but I decided to start things up and my timing couldn't have been better because he/she (I prefer to keep it gender neutral) only had a couple of months to live.
If this person passed away, I think it would've been far worse because I wouldn't have been able to clear the air and say what one would to a great friend/lover who is dying. So that meant a lot.
I really don't look forward to the passing away of close family. With friends I'll miss them, but I don't think I'll be as broke up over their loss as someone like a lover/spouse or family member.
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That's really special that you had the chance to say goodbye and talk about the past together. It's not often that people are afforded such an opportunity.
It's interesting that you sensed it and felt compelled to reach out. And good that you didn't dismiss the instinct because so many people do and miss out.
I wanted to add one more thing. In your future relationship(s), if it ever comes up, don't allow anyone to bully you into eliminating those emails. Some might feel threatened by it and ask you to do something like that, but don't do it - they are just being unfair in their insecurities.
I'm sorry for the loss of your lover/friend.
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I appreciate your kind words. Indeed, I was just very fortunate to give my "last respects' to the person directly while they were still alive, rather than in a eulogy while weeping over their grave.
I just happen to be a highly intuitive person-lucky gift I was born with and serves me well in my relationships and career. I'm also glad I tuned in at the right time.
Mind your this gift of intuition is also a double-edge sword, I can sense bad things about to happen and it usually turns out to be right (though not always which is a blessing in a way).
Thanks for your advice-I think those who had suggested to delete the emails were well-intentioned but perhaps this is how they would try to cope with the loss of a loved-one.
I value everyone's opinion here and it helped me to weigh it out better and to your credit (and those who shared your perspective), I have also felt it's best to hold onto the emails for now, until one day I am ready to let them go (if ever).
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Glad to hear it. :)
Just to clarify though, I wasn't referring to the other commentors here who suggested you delete them, I was talking about people who you might be romantically involved with in the future. They might not understand and be angry if they knew you kept letters from a former lover (deceased or not); some people are jealous of past relationships and refuse to tolerate any reminders of their partner's past experiences.
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No problem, even if you were referring to others, I know you meant well and that's all that counts. Also I do like strong, even contentious opinions because they help you look at things from a different perspective sometimes.
But I agree with you, I'd probably just keep this to myself anyways unless I was planning to get married-then I might share that information with the future spouse.