You're exhibiting a rather desperate need for this woman's qualities to somehow measure up to your standards, when she has nothing to do with you. It is actually somewhat common for people to do this sort of thing, and it's called "projection".
Lots of times, the things we hate most in others are things we dislike about ourselves. It doesn't mean those issues are current, or even on the surface, but they are qualities that we have experienced intimately at some point.
To find the answer to why you despise a complete stranger so much, I would strongly suggest looking inwards. The problem lies within you, and has nothing to do with her. In the realm of the mind, this is logical and deductive reasoning.
Do you feel you could do more with your life? Have you struggled through a time when you felt you didn't do enough? Do you have a tendency to judge yourself very harshly, and that drives you to work extra hard, to prove to yourself you are a worthwhile person? Do you sometimes worry about what your neighbors think of you, and whether or not you are a "waste of space" or "demented"?
As mentioned before, what you're doing is called "projecting". It doesn't mean you are just like this woman, or that you would even answer "yes" to the above questions, necessarily, but when we despise someone we do not even know, it is often because of issues that we are trying to deal with that our minds assign to the stranger. It's easier to deal with these issues externally, rather than internally. It also frees us of some of the judgment we cast upon others.
I would suggest considering this, at least, for while it might not ALL be accurate, I think you'll find some enlightening things by thinking it over.
No no no no no... None of the above allies to me even a little... I am extremely content with my life and with who I am as an individual. I have everything I need in life which is more that can be said for most people and yes, I worked my ass off for it. I got nothing to prove too anybody and I mean that...
Seriously people, if you just saw this person most of you would side with me... she is so pathetic that it just seems to radiate off of her... like she lives in a haze of underachievement that follows her everywhere she goes... I don't often judge people this way without a great reason but I hated the very roots this persons family tree the moment I laid eyes on her... does that make me bad?
Even in your reply, your need to convince me that you're accomplished seems rather strong, given the words you used... and the quick dismissal of what I suggested might also mean that it truly is worth taking a second look inside yourself. I could be wrong, of course.
If I am, well... "most people" wouldn't side with you, I think. Most people are not concerned with other people they don't know and who don't impact their lives directly. It doesn't make you "bad" per se, it simply means there is something about this person that drives you to extremes - the amount of energy you are giving to her, the amount of influence you are letting her have over you... is staggering, for a stranger. ESPECIALLY one who is so "worthless". People simply do not care about "worthless" strangers that have no impact on their life. She is having an impact on your life somehow. You'll probably feel a bit better when you figure out WHY she is.
"She is having an impact on your life somehow. You'll probably feel a bit better when you figure out WHY she is."
Uhhhh, no. I would feel better if she died in a fire that left my apartment totally untouched sure but for me to go as far as to say that she has an influence over me or has any sort of impact on my life what so ever is an incorrect observation.
Is it normal to judge this person so harshly?
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You're exhibiting a rather desperate need for this woman's qualities to somehow measure up to your standards, when she has nothing to do with you. It is actually somewhat common for people to do this sort of thing, and it's called "projection".
Lots of times, the things we hate most in others are things we dislike about ourselves. It doesn't mean those issues are current, or even on the surface, but they are qualities that we have experienced intimately at some point.
To find the answer to why you despise a complete stranger so much, I would strongly suggest looking inwards. The problem lies within you, and has nothing to do with her. In the realm of the mind, this is logical and deductive reasoning.
Do you feel you could do more with your life? Have you struggled through a time when you felt you didn't do enough? Do you have a tendency to judge yourself very harshly, and that drives you to work extra hard, to prove to yourself you are a worthwhile person? Do you sometimes worry about what your neighbors think of you, and whether or not you are a "waste of space" or "demented"?
As mentioned before, what you're doing is called "projecting". It doesn't mean you are just like this woman, or that you would even answer "yes" to the above questions, necessarily, but when we despise someone we do not even know, it is often because of issues that we are trying to deal with that our minds assign to the stranger. It's easier to deal with these issues externally, rather than internally. It also frees us of some of the judgment we cast upon others.
I would suggest considering this, at least, for while it might not ALL be accurate, I think you'll find some enlightening things by thinking it over.
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sweets!!!
11 years ago
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abradab
11 years ago
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Very well said....in total agreement with you!
No no no no no... None of the above allies to me even a little... I am extremely content with my life and with who I am as an individual. I have everything I need in life which is more that can be said for most people and yes, I worked my ass off for it. I got nothing to prove too anybody and I mean that...
Seriously people, if you just saw this person most of you would side with me... she is so pathetic that it just seems to radiate off of her... like she lives in a haze of underachievement that follows her everywhere she goes... I don't often judge people this way without a great reason but I hated the very roots this persons family tree the moment I laid eyes on her... does that make me bad?
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Alison89
11 years ago
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PumpkinKate
11 years ago
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Yes, that makes you bad. Here's a person who has done nothing to you and you hate her.
Even in your reply, your need to convince me that you're accomplished seems rather strong, given the words you used... and the quick dismissal of what I suggested might also mean that it truly is worth taking a second look inside yourself. I could be wrong, of course.
If I am, well... "most people" wouldn't side with you, I think. Most people are not concerned with other people they don't know and who don't impact their lives directly. It doesn't make you "bad" per se, it simply means there is something about this person that drives you to extremes - the amount of energy you are giving to her, the amount of influence you are letting her have over you... is staggering, for a stranger. ESPECIALLY one who is so "worthless". People simply do not care about "worthless" strangers that have no impact on their life. She is having an impact on your life somehow. You'll probably feel a bit better when you figure out WHY she is.
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abradab
11 years ago
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"She is having an impact on your life somehow. You'll probably feel a bit better when you figure out WHY she is."
Uhhhh, no. I would feel better if she died in a fire that left my apartment totally untouched sure but for me to go as far as to say that she has an influence over me or has any sort of impact on my life what so ever is an incorrect observation.
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PumpkinKate
11 years ago
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You are completely weak to the IMMENSE power she holds over you. You're obsessed with her. It's not normal, or healthy.