Is it normal to hurt over the thought of death and the devil ?
Hi everyone Ive been struggling alot since june 25th 2011 I remember this day because I woke up perfectly fine like always (i used to be always happy always laughing usually more than everyone else) and out of no where i got this really noticable bad feeling in my gut that brought my mood to a shut down and my whole mind body and urge to do anything went down along with it that night i wanted to figure it out so badly why i was feeling like this i opened my bible and ask god to take away my pain i couldnt stop crying i started thinking about the pain the people i love go through i started thinking back i wanted to know why all of a sudden one saturaday morning i wake up completely different to the girl i was less than 24 hours before was it even possible was i all of a sudden depressed idk as i was trying to figure out why i recalled my sister and my girlfriend talking about bad things that happen in this world and the devil and i rememberd i told them not to talk about those things because they really are part of my weakness i strongly believe in this world there is people like me and bad people i know god has gaven me a beautiful hear because no matter how i act in this life at the end of the day i can never really physically, emotionally, verbally, hurt someone intentionally from my heart i cant hate my heart is too soft well the days passed and the feeling never left it got worse i would cry every night like never before cry and look up at the sky and ask god why am i feeling like this i asked him to help me and to take my pain i talked to people and for the moment i would feel a little better but the next night i would catch myself suffering and crying again all the times i would cry i didnt even know why i was crying till one day i was looking at my father and i said to myself i love him so much (im crying) & its going to kill me the day he leaves me & all day i felt down and cryed so much because i realised i was terrified of loosing the people i love im scared that something might happen to me in the military and my mom suffers for the rest of her life & the people that love me cry so hard till they cant breathe cause they was things left unsaid to me it terrifies me so badly that i get a call one day and someone tells me your sister passed or your mother passed or you dad or you grandmother only because i know my sister is always out with her friends and it terrifies me that because of them and because of the fact theres no good people really left in this world something might happen to her and my mom has a baby my little sister i would hate to ever have to tell my sister in the future look this was our mom she was so beautiful so sweet she loved you so much serenity she used to adore you she called you her little princess and always had you so pretty and clean :'( my heart hurts its so much more but thats it for now im just seeking for help someone who can really make me realise the good n goodbye please