With a little less of what I'm perceiving as contempt, I have to agree with thegypsysailor. It is your responsibility to find a way to enjoy your partner. If you can't find a way, you are responsible for continuing to be with him, which places the responsibility still squarely on you. And I think it's important to not overlook the fact that maybe part of what you need in a sexual relationship is the taboo aspect. Maybe you just like cheating, whatever it means to you.
I'm the same way, I imagine. My wife knows how bad I want to cheat. I hardly ever stop thinking about it. I want the thrill, the adoration, the utter satisfaction of my secret partner. But I happen to know that even if my wife were somehow up to my standards, she could never be enough. And that is all me.
If you can afford it (insurance sometimes covers it) I strongly recommend talk therapy to help you figure some of these things out. Psychologist, not psychiatrist. You don't need drugs, you need understanding. I think there's hope.
is it normal to have urges to cheat ?
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With a little less of what I'm perceiving as contempt, I have to agree with thegypsysailor. It is your responsibility to find a way to enjoy your partner. If you can't find a way, you are responsible for continuing to be with him, which places the responsibility still squarely on you. And I think it's important to not overlook the fact that maybe part of what you need in a sexual relationship is the taboo aspect. Maybe you just like cheating, whatever it means to you.
I'm the same way, I imagine. My wife knows how bad I want to cheat. I hardly ever stop thinking about it. I want the thrill, the adoration, the utter satisfaction of my secret partner. But I happen to know that even if my wife were somehow up to my standards, she could never be enough. And that is all me.
If you can afford it (insurance sometimes covers it) I strongly recommend talk therapy to help you figure some of these things out. Psychologist, not psychiatrist. You don't need drugs, you need understanding. I think there's hope.