This sounds honestly like depression, because I have depression and feel like this.
I think you should swallow your pride and go to a doctor or therapist. No one has to know about it - it's just you.
And, I think the more you talk about it, things will seem better. I know because I have a couple of friends who are exactly like me, and talking about this stuff always helps with us, because if I, per se am having a problem, one of them ends up seeing a solution for me. If they don't, they usually suggest ideas on what to do.
Is it normal to have to "fake it"?
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This sounds honestly like depression, because I have depression and feel like this.
I think you should swallow your pride and go to a doctor or therapist. No one has to know about it - it's just you.
And, I think the more you talk about it, things will seem better. I know because I have a couple of friends who are exactly like me, and talking about this stuff always helps with us, because if I, per se am having a problem, one of them ends up seeing a solution for me. If they don't, they usually suggest ideas on what to do.