Is it normal to have this relationship with my autistic ex?

My ex and I were together for years, were best friends, did everything together, lived in the same room, went on holidays, cooked for each other, etc etc. It was really bliss for a while, but unfortunately we both suffer from depression. My ex was also diagnosed as autistic. He has trouble with empathy and communicates in a strangely childish way at times. He has various tics and social dysfunctions. He seems to be coping much better with them since we split up (over 12 months ago) and he moved to his own place. I'm very proud of him.

However, we still see each other a lot. We are very close and share many private jokes and interests. I sleep over in his bed with him a couple of times a week. He often wants to spoon, though is reluctant to kiss or hug at other times. We text/call each other every day. We sometimes have sex. I still love him very much but because we are not officially 'together', I torture myself with the idea that he is with someone else. I know he slept with at least a couple of people after we separated, but so did I. Now all I want is for us to be together but he says he's not mentally ready to be in a relationship and doesn't know whether he ever will be. I want to give him his freedom, especially now at a time when he is doing so well with his mental health, but I can't help from going mad with jealousy when he is socialising with other people. I have a good social life, a job that I love and even guys who I occasionally 'date', though recently I have stopped sleeping with anyone else because I'm not interested in casual sex. I wouldn't actually mind if things were to continue like this forever, I have no wish to possess him, but the trouble is that I am terrified he will meet someone else. He tells me that he won't but is generally uncomfortable talking about his feelings and finds mine difficult to understand.

I plan on things continuing like this until he meets someone else, or I do, but am I stupid for sacrificing intimacy? The trouble with an unofficial relationship seems to me to be that the other person has the freedom to hurt you. I am unfortunately quite insecure though I try and deal with it. If I could just have a conversation with him about it then I wouldn't need to post on this website, but it is so intensely frustrating because he feels as though I am attacking him or that he is under pressure and he crumbles or just stares into space... I know that sounds mad, but that's autism for you and I am determined to deal with it. I just desperately need advice. Sorry this is so long.