Damn...I thought only I have those sudden urges of killing myself. It's not the actual urge to do it,it's just at the moment i feel so damn low right now. I'm 20 yrs to,my bday is coming up. Im living with my mother. Im ok with that if I had a job or went to college(which there are multiple personal reasons for that). It seems as everyone around me has a job or goes to college.
So i sit back and think about what will people think if I passed away. I lie to myself and say "I have nothing to live for". But at that moment of depression it does'nt seem like a lie.
For me I work out ALOT. I watch alot of movies or shows where the main character is strong,ambitous,persitent and shows perseverance. I listen to a wide range of music that throws a message to "live in the moment" or "push your self" amd "dont give up". I use these as my little batteries. They all power me up and remind me to not give up on life.
I take my workout serious. If I do not suceed in my workouts,i feel like shit. I actually feel like killing myself. I can't do anything right it seems. So i continously push myself and say if i can run for 35 minutes and do 1700 strikes with success,then I can pass this test,or get this job,or talk to this girl and so on.
My mother is proud of me,but I truly dont know what for. I want more,and trust me i will get it... It's just not in my arms range yet. Just keep pushing yourself through life. Life is a bitch, and that bitch will test you.
IIN to have suicidal thoughts even though I dont want to kill myself?
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Damn...I thought only I have those sudden urges of killing myself. It's not the actual urge to do it,it's just at the moment i feel so damn low right now. I'm 20 yrs to,my bday is coming up. Im living with my mother. Im ok with that if I had a job or went to college(which there are multiple personal reasons for that). It seems as everyone around me has a job or goes to college.
So i sit back and think about what will people think if I passed away. I lie to myself and say "I have nothing to live for". But at that moment of depression it does'nt seem like a lie.
For me I work out ALOT. I watch alot of movies or shows where the main character is strong,ambitous,persitent and shows perseverance. I listen to a wide range of music that throws a message to "live in the moment" or "push your self" amd "dont give up". I use these as my little batteries. They all power me up and remind me to not give up on life.
I take my workout serious. If I do not suceed in my workouts,i feel like shit. I actually feel like killing myself. I can't do anything right it seems. So i continously push myself and say if i can run for 35 minutes and do 1700 strikes with success,then I can pass this test,or get this job,or talk to this girl and so on.
My mother is proud of me,but I truly dont know what for. I want more,and trust me i will get it... It's just not in my arms range yet. Just keep pushing yourself through life. Life is a bitch, and that bitch will test you.
I'm glad you brought this up man. Thank you