Is it normal to have sex with your imaginary friend?

I have an imaginary friend, and we are really close... I know that I am a teen but I'm at a time in my life when I'm lonely and I've never had a real boyfriend. My imaginary friend first showed up a couple years ago and we've been best friends ever since, but now we are a bit more than just friends.
He mainly shows up when I’m feeling down or bored or lonely, but he is always there. But I know when he's there because I can clearly see him in my mind's eye, I can feel him and I feel him in my heart. I know in my heart he is really there.
I remember our first kiss - it was like he was really there, I could feel his lips on mine and it was real to me. It’s gotten to the point where I am actually having sex with him on a daily basis. Of course I've never told anyone about this, they would think I am crazy. That I have a sexual relationship with my imaginary friend. But I know I'm crazy. I would actually rather have him than a real boyfriend, because I’m happier with him. I love him, no matter whether I'm the only one who can see him or not. I don't care if others think I'm crazy or pretending, because to me, he's more real than anyone I know in reality.
I am not schizophrenic, just lonely, and he just fills that hole... No pun intended. He is a part of me and I am in love with him. I'm happy with him.

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 124 votes (49 yes)
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Comments ( 37 )
  • jessicatdg1rl

    Reminds me of a tulpa. I have one, too. He's really nice. I'm still building my mind to see him properly. He really did save my life a few times, though not from anybody or anything but myself.
    If the Internet weren't anonomys, I couldn't have posted this...

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    • It's funny, I just researched this yesterday! Up until then I had never heard of a tulpa before. Now it really sounds like this is what he is :)

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      • Dimb_Fodd

        If I can be blunt, it's not normal but I'm not here to bash you, just to relate and do some loose speculation. Im literally going through the same thing you are, have been since I was 11, I'm 20 now. When I say 11, I mean that's when I started experimenting with my imaginary friends sexual (yea a little young, I know lol). However, I have had a boyfriend/fiancé and have had several 'real' relationships with others in the past (about 5 or so).

        I'm a second year general Psych major (got into Psychology for various reasons including this one and my mentioning it will have a point in a moment) and from the few classes that I have taken (Intro all the way through to abnormal) it has come to my attention that many things society deems as socially unacceptable are really not that big of a deal. Yes, I've lamented to the fact that having sex with an imaginary being isn't normal, however from a psychological perspective it can be looked upon as a cathartic release of pent up tension and stress, but also viewed as a coping mechanism. I'm about to give a bit of backstory, so if your not interested in it just skip down to the sign that looks like this (>>) at the end of this novel for some more speculation.
        (Part 1)

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        • Thanks for sharing your story. Yes I did read through the whole thing xD
          Funnily enough, I never had imaginary friends as a kid either. I did used to make up my own imaginary world and make up people and even animals, but they weren't like imaginary friends, like I wouldn't interact with them, I would just make them up and create their lives, their back story, qualities, favourite things etc etc.
          And also surprisingly, I am not an only child. I have an older brother (26) and a younger sister (9) so it's not like I never had anyone to play with when I was younger.
          However, I was lonely. And that loneliness manifested itself as Yukiyashi. I believe that I created him to fill a void that cannot be filled in real life. I am also only attracted to East Asian guys.
          Yukiyashi popped up when I was 16, when we moved as a family to the countryside, however my brother wasn't living with us at the time. And I truly believed I would never find anyone who I would fall in love with. I've had guys fall in love with me, sure, but I've never felt the same way for them. And it breaks my heart each time to say no to them, yet wanting to still remain friends. And it would be hard to meet anyone remotely like Yukiyashi in real life, specially where I am now. I am pretty much incompetent and useless, I can't even do simple things like cooking or washing. I've never needed to, because I live with my parents. And I am tentative to try new things. Even though my dream is to travel to Japan, I don't think I will ever get to go and if so, how would I find someone there?
          So I have stuck with Yukiyashi. I also have more invisible friends, including Naoki, his sister. She is very hyper and bubbly and fun.She has OCD. Then there is Nguyen, Yukiyashi's friend from South Korea. He is a kind of a nerd and wears glasses, but he is a "cool" nerd, like even though he's a genius, everybody thinks he is hot and wants to be his friend. He has brown hair and black-rimmed glasses, and is very ambitious, confident and sometimes sarky. I think he may have Asperger's syndrome, although it's not confirmed. AND then there is Kim Seung-Hyung, who is a defector North korean soldier who is actually Nguyen's half brother. He braved his way across the border to find his father and get away from his fate, where he found Nguyen, his half brother. Nguyen, shared the same biological father with Seung-Hyung, as his father did the same and ran away from North Korea. Seung-Hyung (or Kim) can be very highly-strung and gets angry often, but he does have a kind heart deep down. He also has a really sad story. He grew up as an only child with only his mother to take care of him, and they were very close. However at eight years old, he had to watch his mum be killed in a public execution - for stealing a loaf of bread in order to feed him as many of North Korean people live in poverty. He was then taken to a prison camp and tortured for being a family member, where he later managed to escape and find a kind man who gave him food and shelter in exchange for work.
          And the newest addition is Kuso, who is a ghost. He is the first of my imaginary friends who is technically "dead", however I still see him as a human being. Because I created him because I craved human male companionship, like all the others. Anyway Kuso is a ghost. He is also Japanese, like Yukiyashi, but he is an albino. He grew up only with his mother, who constantly ridiculed him for his appearance and how useless he is, and sometimes even beat him. His father allegedly left Kuso's mother when he found out she was pregnant. So she took her anger and resentment out on her unwanted child. He was also a laughing stock at school and badly bullied, and the teachers were always having a go at him because he is bad at studies. However the one thing that he can do is play piano, putting all of his feeling and heart into the piano playing. Sadly he killed himself by slitting his wrists in his room one day after being bullied, and because of his depression and self-hatred. Now he is a ghost, or an angel.

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        • Dimb_Fodd

          To make a ludicrously long story short (it wasn't short, sorry): As a child I grew up as a only kid until age 7, during the first 6 years of my life, life was so-so. I was sexually assaulted at a daycare around age 4 by a male child and a male adult. Moving in to 6 I was assaulted again by two more male classmates, and that trend followed with various individuals up until age 10. (I say assaulted as a stand in for the word rape because I was also assaulted by four former female friends and it technically is impossible for a girl to penetrate another girl without the assistance of a object, excluding hands, were In from the law classifies anything else except for penetration of a penis in a vagina as sexual assault, because laws are bull sometimes, moving on)

          The trend stopped when I started dating the guy who went on to be my late boyfriend/fiancé. He offered me protection (literal protection, and no he was not a child) however the damage was already done. (Now I'm not saying all this happened to you as well, that's why I suggested people skip on down. This is just some backstory to help you better understand me and figuring this out also helped me figure out many things about myself)
          (Part 2)

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          • Dimb_Fodd

            As a small child, I never had a imaginary friend. I checked with my parents. However my imaginary friend/friends started popping up around 11(which was alarming) They never looked like anything, meaning they were invisible to me. I would use cartoon characters as placeholders for my imaginary friends because it gave them set personalities which I didn't have to come up with, and made them easily identifiable. Plus, strangely it helped me to better understand other real people of different temperaments than my own. As I got older however, they never went away, multiplying even and I began worrying I was schizophrenic or schizopathal, but upon psychiatric evaluation, that proved false as well as being bipolar. I did however learn that I was suffering from depression (sometimes it calmed down, masquerading as dysthymia however it's ever present and never fully goes away) and anger management issues. Upon learning all of that, I learned from some time in therapy, that sometimes female only and eldest tend to have imaginary friends. Once thought to last only from ages 2-4, sometimes they can last way up until age 8. It usually comes from: being lonely and isolated, being bullied (yes, I was bullied extensively, but that's another topic not for this post) having a less than supportive home life, abuse/trauma, regressed social skills and or immense fear.

            During age 11-14, things turned sexual with little things like experimentation with both them and my late boyfriend. My late boyfriend exposed me to things kids that age have no business learning and the friends 'helped' edge me on/perfect certain performance aspects. However I knew this was a abnormal practice and I began pulling away from 'them'. They seemed to have been fine with that and slowly subsided into the background, were we would leisurely talk about stuff and they offer assistance with some trivial and or more serious problems/situations that would arise in my life. However, at 14 I lost my boyfriend and that's were things got weird
            (Part 3)

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            • Dimb_Fodd

              I started having crazy bad memory loss and started withdrawing in to them more. As a kid I was outgoing, an extrovert with a willingness to help and I loved making real friends. Pretty open, energetic and easy to get along with, despite the assaults. Continuing on to adolescence I began shifting in personality temperaments and became more introverted, bitter and negative. This is when the depression started becoming more pronounced but strangely I started losing more and more imaginary friends. It dwindled down to two at around age 16. I had real friends and was actually quite popular at a point despite being a mess, but I was never as close to anyone as the imaginary friends. I wore a mask all the time and used jokes to cover up my misery. I dated throughout high school but each relationship ended in failure. I was never able to commit to the romantic side of things (had no reason to since I was already sexually satisfied or whatever) being more of a friend than girlfriend to the people I dated (I dated both male and female, admittedly girls were easier, but that's another topic) but things shifted with my imaginary friends as graduation grew closer. The roles they played in my life began to mean less as I became more mature and more proactive than reactive. Here's what I mean:

              As time went on the second one disappeared (it was a she and she went on to live her own life elsewhere, we were only 'sexual' with one another once and it didn't work out at all. She was nasty piece of work) and only the male one remained. He began meaning more to me and I started to develop 'feelings' for him (yes at first he was a stand I for my late boyfriend but then he started shifting and taking on characteristics unlike him and developed into his own being with a life out side of mine and 'needs??'. And yes he knows he's imaginary.) He never looked like anyone, still doesn't, but if I happen to 'non-sexually' like a main character from a cartoon, videogame or anime he'll become that person for however long until I move onto something else. Like you said, he's always there for me, and is very kind and considerate
              (Part 4)

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  • deaddecayedcat

    If you know in your heart he's truly there then stop calling him imaginary.....he might get offended lol

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  • ShilohKB

    Hey, this is called a tulpa. Its totally okay to have one. I have one too, but I don't have sex with him. That's generally frowned upon in the tulpa community, but hey, whatever floats your boat mate.

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    • Why exactly is it frowned upon? I mean, I love him and the connection we feel at the most intimate is so strong ?

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  • Why is everyone commenting saying this is a bad thing? Op sounds really happy with her imaginary boyfriend. Her imaginary boyfriend sounds like a lucky guy to have her!

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  • Anonnet

    I've had an imaginary friend of sorts since I was little. At first he was a stand-in for a cool friend, but eventually I sort of merged with him. Instead of imagining that I have some amazing friend, I instead imagine that I'm an amazing guy. Throughout this whole time, and it's been nearly 20 years, it has never once occurred to me to have sex with him. He's so far removed from any sexual context, it would be like trying to have sex with Jesus.

    As a side note, there's tons of nerdy guys out there who want to get with girls like you. They may or may not be Japanese with mysterious features, but it would be really cool if you would go out and look for them instead of sticking with Yukiyashi.

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  • Holzman_67

    I'm really sorry but I found this hilarious.
    Anyway I'm no doctor but I think this sort of thing stems from a love of one's self, normally as a result of solitude. Hey, no one can fault your imagination. I think if you could channel your imagination into creativity or another avenue then maybe you can move on and find real physical love in the world.

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  • foods-dangerous-to-dogs

    ok this is just so confusing. what do you mean you have sex with him? he doesnt even have a real penis.

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    • Well, it's embarrassing to admit but... It's not like I'm masturbating or something... Actually it's difficult to explain, I sort of just... Have sex with him. As if he were really there. (I guess if people were to walk in and then try to explain they would say I was "humping thin air" basically) Imagination itself can even bring me to orgasm, and just him being there like I can feel him there and I can feel his kisses and even the sex part even though I am technically still a virgin. But if he's imaginary, how come I can indulge every sense and like he's really there? I'm guessing not many other people experience something like this...

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      • LucyChanoO

        Actually, I know this was 6 years ago but I can relate 100%.

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      • foods-dangerous-to-dogs

        thats odd.

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        • I know ^^;;

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  • walkingdildo

    Imaginary friends should definitely be over once you are in double-digit ages.

    I understand you feel lonely, but you can't fill the gap with your imagination. It's not healthy. You need someone real. We are social creatures and convincing yourself you love "him" is going to lead to difficulties relating to real people later on.

    I mean this seriously, with due care that you deserve as a fellow human being, nip this in the bud now. It will only negatively impact you in future.

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    • Actually, having an imaginary friend is not such a bad thing. Only as society tells us that once we become adults we must become mindless zombies. I can channel my imagination into positive creativity as well - I am always writing stories about him and have created a whole novel's worth of our adventures.
      But it's a shame that there are no guys that I like in real life. I just not attracted to any of them. Yukiyashi always makes me happy. And I think, he keeps me sane. If he were to disappear, I would be distraught.

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      • walkingdildo

        Don't bother fuxking asking if it is normal if you're just going to dismiss it and attempt to justify your activity anyway, particularly with tripe such as 'not having imaginary friends' = 'mindless zombies'.

        Thinking a delusion (and it is a delusion to suggest an imagination can be a friend when you're an adult) keeps you sane is the sort of thing people go into therapy for.

        Fine, live in denial, but don't come here seeking validation because most people on the internet, who happen to be sane themselves, won't give you it. I tried to help but clearly you do not want it. You just want 'yes, it is normal'.

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        • there is no need to get so aggressive, Jesus Christ. This is why I don't like real people. And this IS "is it normal" where weirdoes, hang out, right?

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          • walkingdildo

            Yes, but it's "Is it normal?" where people and go and expect an honest and truthful response. Not just the response they want.

            I'll get aggressive if I want to because this whole question is a waste of time you clearly just want to be told it's normal, even if it's just in the eyes of weirdos.

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  • riffraffy

    It's pathetic, but what's worse--it's an excuse to shield yourself from getting into a real relationship. Real relationships take risk and have feelings that don't always make sense. Scary, sure. But you get your first kiss and you'll forget all about this weeaboo phantasm, trust me.

    I don't care how much he likes bible black.

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  • yanks1996

    How old are you ?
    How big is your friend's cock ?

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    • I'm 19
      Ahaha... I can tell it's not very serious I'd say about 5 inches or something... But he is so gentle and is always attentive to my needs and whether I'm gaining pleasure out of him. Even though he is so shy and I'm usually the one to initiate any action, he does it to please me and because he really loves me too

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      • yanks1996

        Why do you say that you are a teen if you are 19 years old ?
        19 years old is an adult woman.
        Is this friend the only " boyfriend " that you have ever had ?
        Have you ever seen a male naked in person or is your friend the only naked male that you have seen ?
        You need an older wise man to help you through this.
        Dont bother with young immature boys.
        Can you relocate to live with a man ?
        Send me your email address.

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        • foods-dangerous-to-dogs

          19 is still a teen lol. nine TEEN.

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        • Yes he's the only boyfriend I've ever had
          No I've never seen another guy naked IRL (unless you count porn)

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  • Confusingness

    What's his name? What does he look like?

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    • I wasn't going to reveal the information as my family already knows about him (apart from the sex part) and accepts him as just a quirk that I have, but I doubt any of them will come by this post or even this website, so:
      His name is Yukiyashi. He is Japanese and has a mass of black shaggy hair that falls down around his face. He has the most hypnotic dark, brown almond-shaped eyes. Looking into them is like a whirlwind of mystery, a labyrinth of secrets. He is extremely shy, sweet and also reserved. But is also quite talkative when you get him going. He loves sweets, reading manga and watching hentai (he will kill me for mentioning that!) and he plays violin. And he is a boss at video games. He has an old school GameBoy which he carries around with him, it's like his trademark item. He is also pretty lazy and likes to eat, sleep, or just stay in playing games or watching anime. He is a very gentle, caring and considerate person who is sensitive inside, and he blushes often. When he is embarrassed, which is quite often.
      And no one can see him but me. :)

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  • mysistersshadow

    So... is this just a confession? Obviously its not normal and your setting yourself up to be disappointed by any one real but you seem happy with your choice so what is it your looking for from us?

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    • I just wanted to know if there was anyone who had a similar situation to me.

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      • mysistersshadow

        I'm sure is someone its a big world but that doesn't make it normal or a healthy choice.

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