As I have already posted on another question about disturbing thoughts, this is normal as long as you do not actually want them to happen (which you've already stated you don't want to hurt anybody). They are called obsessions, unwanted thoughts or images that occur over and over, according to the psychological definition. Everyone has obsessions. However, if you start to actually want to act upon these thoughts, seek professional help from a psychologist. The fact that these obsessions occur when you are lonely or distant is extremely normal, I cannot even express how normal this is. No need to worry.
Is it normal to have (really)disturbing thoughts?
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As I have already posted on another question about disturbing thoughts, this is normal as long as you do not actually want them to happen (which you've already stated you don't want to hurt anybody). They are called obsessions, unwanted thoughts or images that occur over and over, according to the psychological definition. Everyone has obsessions. However, if you start to actually want to act upon these thoughts, seek professional help from a psychologist. The fact that these obsessions occur when you are lonely or distant is extremely normal, I cannot even express how normal this is. No need to worry.