Is it normal to have no friends in college

New town,new dorms,and no friends.I have roommates of course but for some reason I get shy around them.They will greet me when I walk in and when we pass by on campus, but I never had a full conversation with any of them.I never go to the commons area.I just go straight to my room.I would love to just sit with them, but shyness has become a routine.I do talk to a few people, but I wouldn't call the friends just yet. They are more associates.Of course those who know me well would find me not saying anything hard to believe, but it's true.The feeling of loneliness completely overwhelmed me the first week which left me crying for days at a time.Now the feeling has become somewhat of a default mode for me.I may call friends and family, but the feeling is always there when I hang up the phone.It's waiting for me after class and on the weekends.It even lies in my bed with me at night.As the days go by I find myself falling deeper into a state of despair and depression with thoughts of suicide uncontrollably popping into my head.I remember the sadness starting in middle school and slowly grew in me like cancer.Unfortunately it has spread to all my major organs, including the most important one..my heart.I don't know how much longer I can pretend that everything is OK when it's not.I have always been somewhat of a reserved person,but this kind of solitude is new.It's not the refreshing kind you feel when you got the day off from a busy week.It's a decay that rots your happiness from the inside out.It's making me feel as if no one cares about me or even could care.But,there is one thing that keeps the thread I'm hanging on from snapping.Hope.At times I think it's completely gone,but it appears out of no where.I'm not sure if it's good or bad because at times it feels like it mocks me with false realities.It's a defense mechanism that sends my mind into daydreams of the ideal college experience,but when I come back to reality if feel worse than before.It especially confuses me when I begin to think of myself as a waste of time.Hope appears again and reminds me of how funny,creative,and intelligent I am.It shows me the faces of those who love me the most and tells me how devastated they would be if I decided to do the worst.That's when doubt shows up to tell me how they never knew the real me and never will.It shows me all the times they could have asked what was wrong with me but didn't because they don't truly know me enough to know something was wrong.Then it blames me for not telling them in the first place.As I stare at my bottle of pills, something tells me that if I take them all they will rid me of the loneliness that fills the pit of my stomach all the way to the depths of heart.But yet again,hope appears.

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 60 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • 009

    If you can't find anyone to talk in real life, try to talk to people online. It really helps, it makes you feel better, and when you're feeling better you'll be more confident to talk to people in real life. Step by step you can get there. Just on this post you could notice that on the internet you can easily find people to talk.
    And don't let your subconscious deceive you and convince you to end your own life, it's just a bunch of stupid feelings dropped in your blood as chemical stuff because of the circunstances. Your conciousness is way stronger and more important than that.
    Hope you get better.

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  • Carolinne

    I feel the same. I'm serious, I'm pretty sure I will suicide in a few years. I'm not joking, I would really like to know you personally.
    All that shyness, loneliness, the way you interact with people... I'm that way. I do not suicide because I'm afraid of the pain.
    And sometimes I just have hope too, for the exactly same reason...
    I feel I will never recover from all that suffering.

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  • BfingIToucher

    I read the whole thing, paragraphs or not. Please consider seeing a therapist or counselor. I am sure there is someone you could talk to on campus. You have so much you want (and need) to express. You don't have to remain so lonely; it can get better. College is a drastic life change and everyone is going through adjustments. I feel for you -- please talk to someone.

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  • RomeoDeMontague

    You have opportunity to make friends but you just don’t want to. They are your dorm mates so you live with them. Try and make friends with them at least. Just everything you are doing just do the opposite. I don’t think anyone could give you better advice. You seem to be creating your own issues since you want to avoid people all together.

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  • LillieJean

    Theaks lostsufer

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  • lostsurfer

    I went through something similar my freshman yr. of college.Back in high school i never had to start conversations or approach people they always came to me, everyone wanted to be my friend. So i never had to worry about ice breakers or starting conversations and last year i came to college and everything was different no one flocked and i found myself constantly alone but i told myself that i deserved to have that real college experience not class then dorm. so you just have to force yourself to take that first step no matter how much your afraid to and things will begin to flow just force yourself to talk to people and you'll see things will get better. As for the suicide thing hearing something like that scares people and they'll tell you to see a therapist but unless you scare yourself it seems normal or in my experience anyway. But if your scared of what you'll do to youself seek help. If you need anymore help with this id be happy to talk with u more about it.
    good luck

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  • Kom

    You are suffering from depression due to strees get help. Anti depressents are required and its ok not to have friends I have non and i am 32 year old virgin All the rtime in school I had no friends and in college I had no contact with any living soul as a friend I was happy and content. I plan to remain and die a virgin and alone and I think uts your bent of mind and Ifeel you must get help from a doctor and go for ani depresent medication immideatly

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  • TheForbiddenHottie

    i too did not read the whole story.. i too have no serious friends.. but that doesn't mean it's normal.. I don't need anyone, but sounds like you do.. be pleasant, don't be sarcastic, be appreciative, don't be a pain-in-the ass or elsewere, be humble and people will start flocking around you. Why they dont flock around me is a different story, but for you these should work.

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    • LillieJean

      Thank You

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  • Comm0nSense

    you only live once and it goes by very fast. what have you got to lose? I feel sad that so many of our youths are feeling left out and I blame our society and what it teaches our kids for priorties. just go on like you don't give a damn like a boss.

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  • houstonlady

    My son is a college student and it would absolutely devastate me if he felt the way you did. A bit of motherly advice: Sometimes you have to break the ice to become friends with strangers. People love talking about themselves, so ask your roommates some questions about their hometowns, families, etc. You will find you have something in common with at least a few people in your dorm. Build on that. And by all means go to the commons area. It may be a bit uncomfortable at first, not knowing anyone, but you will soon find people that are just as homesick as you are; for I think that is what is going on with you. You are in a new environment, with new challenges, and I bet there are several students at your college that feel the same way.
    However, I strongly urge you to see a counselor or therapist.

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