Is it normal to have no fixed personality?

I am 18, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 2 years ago, after getting out of an abusive relationship. After a year of struggling with therapy, medications, and safety plans, I gained my parents trust back and convinced everyone I was 'healed' for the most part. I have been suppressing crippling anxiety, anger, and depression to this day- and have always struggled with my identity. I turned my back on 2 close friends, and barely maintain communication in only 3 other friendships. I don't think they are genuine friendships, however, because I do not care for any of them. I feel I have no constant personality whatsoever, that I can become who ever I see fit in order to get what I want. I recycle personas. When I talk to people, I constantly lie, even about the most trivial matters. It's may be a protective barrier or self defense mechanism I created to avoid social conflict and pain. I feel either no emotions at all or intense rage, anxiety, or hopelessness. I have no fixed interests, they vary day by day, and I can become very obsessed with things or people, and until I've fully obtained them, nothing else seems to matter. I look forward to manipulating people- and never regret it unless there are consequences that negatively affect me. I fantasize about killing people 'close' to me, such as family and friends, and imagine how easy my life would be without them. The only way I can feel comfortable is when I am completely alone. No need for acting, or meeting expectations. No masks. I would say I've lost myself, but I've never known who I was. I don't want to believe I am who I described.

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 73 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 32 )
  • itsallgoodok

    Marked this as normal, because your emotions and problems are so deeply suppressed. Of course you'll have no fixed personality and have no idea who you are. Stop suppressing that anxiety, depression, and anger. Tell someone. You're here online talking about it so you are serious about wanting help. Telling my life's story on yahoo answers was my first step when I'd repressed my anxiety and depression since I was in elementary school. No one knew but me. No one. For an example of how serious it was, in high school I hid my parent's divorce for well over a year from my friends. Enough about me...I guess I was talking about myself because I'm better now (stable, happy) and you can heal too. So proud of you for taking this step. You've identified your problem: the suppression of your emotions is the source. You aren't who you described: I'm certain much those things you described about yourself are symptoms of your pain that will go away in time. Talk.

    Much love,

    A friend :)

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    • seemstobelostintranslation

      Thank you for your feedback. It is good to know you have dealt with your issues appropriately. Upon reading your response, I realized why I struggle with my personality. It has been rooted in denial for a very, very long time. I think the majority of my actions were driven by a need to suppress my very motives.. rather than just my emotions. The feelings I do have are always of intense nature, and always destructive. They consist of rage, coupled by anxiety if the rage is suppressed, and a sadness, depression, or discouragement that occurs also if the anger is not fed. If none of these are experienced, I do not feel anything, towards anyone. It is an emptiness. I can't say that I know what it feels like to genuinely love someone.. or to feel guilt for hurting the ones I am supposed to 'love.' I only really care.. for myself.

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    • hitchman

      I must write to tell fellow comrades, for my neighbour each and every day at 5 O'Clock, tick tock, boils live crabs and lobsters.

      The poor animals scream as they enter the boiling pot and I hear the real Derek Hitchmans screams of sick laughter when they scream.

      Is there anything I can do about this, ie is the live boiling of these poor animals a crime, is there an authority I can report him to?

      Im yer real Hitchman, all yer other D.Hitchmas are just immitating will the real D.Hitchman please boil crabs, please boil crabs, please boil crabs...

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  • emerillog

    I'm almost exactly like this I have depression and anxiety and I change my personality according to who I'm with at the time. I have to have an extreme obsession at all times or my depression gets horribly out of control and I get daily suicidal thoughts.. I've had different personalities and depression ever since I was a child and I've mentioned it to my parents but they just blow me off. However, your issues seem a lot more severe than mine. I agree with "itsallgoodok" you have to talk to someone about it

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    • hitchman

      Someone once asked me if my ass naturally smelled like shit.....

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  • TheProph

    Marked as not normal because you're going down a dangerous road. This is how serial killers feel a few years before they start offing people.

    I know, because.. well I can't really say why, but I also have felt the same exact feelings as you. I literally turned my back on 2 close friends and have 3 friends that I'm "close" with.

    I feel next to nothing all the time, as if I'm dead inside. Completely emotionless. It's a bad way to feel. I recommend you get back on the meds ASAP and if you have any homicidal or suicidal thoughts you should tell your therapist ASAP.

    It'd be better to live in an insane asylum the rest of your life than jail, right? I think so.

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    • It's not even remotely how serial killers start out.

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      • TheProph

        Oh really? I'm guessing you base this on YOUR years of schooling in the mental health field, right? No? Okay then shut the fuck up. That's EXACTLY how psychosis starts. And a lot of serial killers are psychotic. Learn your facts before making a complete fool of yourself next time.

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        • No, I base it on what those who are expert in the field say. It is their job to know, so if anyone knows best it's them, not some random on the internet. So what you're saying is that you know better than they do. Right ok then, glad we cleared that up lol.

          And not a lot of serial killers are psychotic at all. Only two serial killers in history have successfully pled insanity due to this. The vast majority of them are psychopaths, and if you knew any "facts" at all you'd know that they are absent of psychosis and delusion. Mass murderers suffer psychotic breaks during their crime. But serial killers live daily lives in between murders, people with psychosis simply don't function that way, fact.

          I hardly think correcting a load of wank makes me a fool.

          Oh and if you think I'm wrong then list the known serial killers suffering psychosis, I bet it'll be one short ass list. PROVE ME WRONG.

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          • TheProph

            I'm saying I know this based on MY OWN YEARS OF SCHOOLING. I work in the mental health field. What do you do?

            You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about lol.

            Psychopaths can be very charismatic, and pass as a regular person who isn't suffering from psychosis.

            I think you need to stop watching TV shows like Dexter, and get with reality lol. I'm not going to waste my time anymore with someone who clearly does not know what the fuck they are talking about.

            Also you clearly don't know how the justice system works. Not to mention the fact a lot of psychopaths (or sociopaths) don't even know there's anything wrong with them at all.

            But again, I'm "sure you knew all that". There's no italics, so to be clear, the quotes are to show sarcasm.

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            • In his 1993 book, Without Conscience, Hare states that confusion arises because people routinely mix up the words "psychopath" and "psycho," which is a slang expression for psychotic. The distinction is that individuals who are psychotic are out of touch with reality because they suffer from delusions, hallucinations or other disordered states. When they commit a violent crime, they are often found not guilty by reason of insanity and are incarcerated in a psychiatric facility rather than a jail. Psychopaths, on the other hand, are rational and quite aware of the difference between right and wrong.

              You are clearly wrong as stated here, and also cannot possibly work in the mental health field due to not knowing this simple fact.

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            • This is what's wrong with the education system.

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        • Im-A-Beast

          He/She told you!

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          • TheProph

            I'm not sure what you're referring to, so I'm gonna say.... Yes?

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            • Im-A-Beast

              Well I don't know if you are male or female, so I didn't want to offend you by accident.

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  • EccentricWeird

    There are too many comments here and they're all too damn long.

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  • handsignals

    Yeah you've got more than just anxiety and depression problems. I'd say you've got a borderline personality disorder.

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  • Karmasbitch

    I can relate to most of this as well, but you really do need to tell someone about how you feel and these thoughts you have.
    I'm glad you decided to take a step forward by sharing this on the website, I hope you can get the right answers for yourself.
    I don't view this as normal, but it's common, from what I've noticed.
    Good luck, I'm sorry I couldn't help further.

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  • randomthoughts

    Hey there, seems to me that you do need a lot of help.
    I can offer some advice/knowledge/beliefs of mine though.
    I believe that a persons personality is NOT who you are, as personalities can change therefore they were never really you to begin with. So don't stress that you think you are who you described above. These are just traits of the mind that you need to learn how to control. Hope this helped :)

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  • Typical behavior for a woman.

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  • I feel somewhat the same, mainly due to the whisperer, though. You know, the thing in your head that talks to you that isn't "you" but is always there, always giving their input? That.

    In all honesty, I don't know who I am myself, which leads me to use fake personas to get what I want. The only persona I know is real is the one I dub "the whisperer" (the little voice we all have in our heads that is either self-destructive, destructive, sadistic, masochistic, or any other label).
    I tend to live off of that persona, or he lives off me, I am unsure, as he knows what's best, which tends to be pretending to have a different persona to gain what it is he is intending (we all have the little voice, mine is a sadistic one, as I am sure some of you can relate).

    Personally, I feel safer, this way, I feel more in power this way. If people in my life knew the persona that is not fake, yet shared with a lost persona, then I think I would be in a lot of trouble, as some as hinted on to it after realizing some things I have done, which caused irritating situations.

    As for the "killing" people part, I know that feeling. I also prefer the idea of killing people I like over the ones I don't. Most of the time I don't even consider the thought towards people I dislike.
    I am curious, have you tested these urges on smaller creatures? The feeling is something else, and given you feel the same in some ways as myself, perhaps you may enjoy it also.

    If you are like myself, I don't think there is much help for you, just learn to accept it, and sooner or later you will prefer your choice.

    Come to think of it, I do not think we are the same. It seems you don't have a persona, hence the reasons for faking them, which isn't quite like having a persona and using fake personalities because you know "your" persona will be frowned upon.

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    • seemstobelostintranslation

      I am familiar with the "whisperer" as well. However, I have not named that voice, rather accepted it as part of me.

      As a child, I would search for things to kill or torture; such as baby birds and house pets. I killed several small animals and buried them in our backyard under leaves, so that no one would find out. I never really gave this type of behavior a second thought until you mentioned it, I suppose I never considered small animals significant entities.

      I psychologically tortured my sister from a very young age, and even choked her on several occasions, in response to this burning rage.. the whisper- or shadow. I distinctly remember the euphoric feeling I got when my hands were wrapped around her neck, or when I killed; I was at peace. Everything slowed down around me, nothing else mattered but satisfying the urge.

      Now I ruin people by using and manipulating them. It liberates me, cools my blood and calms the chaos.

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      • I think we share similarities in how we suppress our urges, but have different reasons towards them. For example, you mention a rage you have, which I am not accustomed to.

        All in all, we share very similar actions, just completely different reasons for committing such actions.

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