ProseAthlete, thank you so much for your reply. That was a very well-written post and it actually offered me a lot perspective about my situation from a person who sees things from a different vantage point.
Shrunk. thank you for your reply as well. I haven't forced or coaxed anyone into doing anything. It was one of the fangirls on my Tumblr who initially suggested that we roleplay and I responded to her by saying that "I guess it wouldn't hurt to try". That was before I realized she was underage.
And now that I do, all I can think of is unfollowing her and getting the hell away from her (as well as the other underaged fangirls). That's almost the entire community, though, but I digress.
I just feel like crap right now because I told her one of my dirty fantasies, and agreed to role play with her (before realizing she was 17) and from her following messages to me, and the fact that all of her RP story lines suddenly and inexplicably went from dirty smut to completely PG and sterile after her conversation with me, I felt that she was subtly implying that she was uncomfortable with me, with RPing with me (after she had first suggested it), that I was some sort of pervert (by her use of the word "gross" when referring to my fantasy, even though it was on par with some of the smut she used to frequently write about / RP, and by how the whole thing has turned out and some of our mutual friends that she normally RPs smut with have also changed their dirty RPs to completely sterile and PG after our conversations.
I don't know what she has told them about me or if she has indeed been gossiping about me to her friends / our mutual friends but I certainly hope she hasn't been putting a spin on things and making me out to be this "gross, dirty, perverse, predatory creep or pedophile".
The strange thing is, after all of these events have transpired, she suddenly started following me / my blog and I just feel so awkward and uncomfortable with her. We both also share mutual friends (whose age I don't know because I haven't asked) who I would like to keep as followers otherwise I fear that I may eventually be left with a dead blog and completely alienate myself from a vast portion of that particular fandom / fan community.
Keep in mind that I've already unfollowed her once and then re-followed her recently and apologized to her for unfollowing her because of a misundertanding / glitch with facebook (I didn't get a prompt when she replied to my mail and thought she was ignoring me so I took her off my list - then when I checked my inbox, it turns out she has replied to me and was very pleasant and polite so I followed her again and explained the whole thing). This was before I knew her age and now I want to unfollow her. Even if it makes me look like a crazy or unstable person with split personality or just a painfully indecisive person but I fear that if I do unfollow her, then it would cause her friends / our mutual friends to think that there is any merit to any of the things she may or may not have said about me behind my back or that she would even go and spin some tripe about me or even add a lot of false details to her story to make me look bad because I unfollowed her for the second (and last time).
I know this all sounds very complicated with all of the following and unfollowing shenanigans but I appreciate you all taking the time to read this far.
IIN to have much younger friends / feelings for fictional characters?
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ProseAthlete, thank you so much for your reply. That was a very well-written post and it actually offered me a lot perspective about my situation from a person who sees things from a different vantage point.
Shrunk. thank you for your reply as well. I haven't forced or coaxed anyone into doing anything. It was one of the fangirls on my Tumblr who initially suggested that we roleplay and I responded to her by saying that "I guess it wouldn't hurt to try". That was before I realized she was underage.
And now that I do, all I can think of is unfollowing her and getting the hell away from her (as well as the other underaged fangirls). That's almost the entire community, though, but I digress.
I just feel like crap right now because I told her one of my dirty fantasies, and agreed to role play with her (before realizing she was 17) and from her following messages to me, and the fact that all of her RP story lines suddenly and inexplicably went from dirty smut to completely PG and sterile after her conversation with me, I felt that she was subtly implying that she was uncomfortable with me, with RPing with me (after she had first suggested it), that I was some sort of pervert (by her use of the word "gross" when referring to my fantasy, even though it was on par with some of the smut she used to frequently write about / RP, and by how the whole thing has turned out and some of our mutual friends that she normally RPs smut with have also changed their dirty RPs to completely sterile and PG after our conversations.
I don't know what she has told them about me or if she has indeed been gossiping about me to her friends / our mutual friends but I certainly hope she hasn't been putting a spin on things and making me out to be this "gross, dirty, perverse, predatory creep or pedophile".
The strange thing is, after all of these events have transpired, she suddenly started following me / my blog and I just feel so awkward and uncomfortable with her. We both also share mutual friends (whose age I don't know because I haven't asked) who I would like to keep as followers otherwise I fear that I may eventually be left with a dead blog and completely alienate myself from a vast portion of that particular fandom / fan community.
Keep in mind that I've already unfollowed her once and then re-followed her recently and apologized to her for unfollowing her because of a misundertanding / glitch with facebook (I didn't get a prompt when she replied to my mail and thought she was ignoring me so I took her off my list - then when I checked my inbox, it turns out she has replied to me and was very pleasant and polite so I followed her again and explained the whole thing). This was before I knew her age and now I want to unfollow her. Even if it makes me look like a crazy or unstable person with split personality or just a painfully indecisive person but I fear that if I do unfollow her, then it would cause her friends / our mutual friends to think that there is any merit to any of the things she may or may not have said about me behind my back or that she would even go and spin some tripe about me or even add a lot of false details to her story to make me look bad because I unfollowed her for the second (and last time).
I know this all sounds very complicated with all of the following and unfollowing shenanigans but I appreciate you all taking the time to read this far.