Is it normal to have inlaws who only want to know one child

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5 Comments

Ok heres my story, I have 2 boys one is almost 3 and the other is almost 10 months. When my older son was born my inlaws couldn't get enough of him and I mean at one point I was worried he was going to think my mother in law was his mum! I never said anything tho, then when we told her we were expecting another baby we got a few nice comments but it was all oh i wonder if it will be a girl.... anyway when my 2nd little man came she came and saw him in hospital but held him for all of about 2 seconds, when she comes to the house she hardly ever picks him up she always says oh I don't want (my eldest) to get jelaous , she phones and asks if she can have my eldest for the weekend but when i say yes are you going to take the other too she laughs and says haha no one is enough thanks :s she is a mother of 3! i thought maybe it was just while he was small because i was breast feeding him but now hes on the bottle and she still the same. For my birthday my husband asked if she could have the kids for the night so we could have some us time and her reply was "no we have made other plans" she offered to "come down and sit" once so we could go and she her son in some sh*tty show that neither me nor my husband want to go to lol thats a start but why doesnt she want him in her house? I really don't understand how she can treat 2 kids so different.

Is It Normal?
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  • sandyy*
    13 years ago | pl

    could it be a possibility that SHE thinks he could not be your husbands? and now shes resenting him? idk just a possibility? not normal!

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    Do you think it might just be the demands of infant care, and looking after 2? It is easy to forget that that is pretty demanding, and she may not feel up to it.

    She may also have special feelings for the older & wants to ensure he is still getting that attention, since babies get a lot more (cause they need it).

    Those are possibilities. But maybe hubby could stay home while you two go out shopping and you could gently ask if she feels comfortable with the newer born. Don't judge or make her feel guilty - or worried that she is going to be the child minder for 2 if she doesn't feel she can. Just that you want her to feel OK with him.

    It is positive that she is so nicely connected with the one. She just seems a little reluctant with the second, and maybe has reasons.

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago | pl

      * pretty demanding when you are an older person

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  • eXigrrL
    13 years ago | pl

    I don't think that's normal. Do they not like the little one because something happened? Does he remind her of someone? She should love both of them equally. Favorites are OK, as long as you at least pretend.

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    • emms1981
      13 years ago | pl

      well thats what I wonder, my eldest looks alot like me but my youngest looks like my husband and for some unknown to me reason she always treats my husband like crap.

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