Is it not too far-fetched to say that maybe you seek those things as a thrill because your current relationship isn't very exciting? Or maybe you have autogynephilia, where dressing up and behaving like a woman sexually gets you turned on? You'll have to research those things for yourself, and determine if that's what your issue is.
One last thing: It's not a good idea to try to hook up with other people for sexual release unless your girlfriend is somehow okay with it. You should probably talk about this with her, or just break up. It's disrespectful of her person if you can't be honest with her about this.
Is it normal to have certain fantasies only while aroused?
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Is it not too far-fetched to say that maybe you seek those things as a thrill because your current relationship isn't very exciting? Or maybe you have autogynephilia, where dressing up and behaving like a woman sexually gets you turned on? You'll have to research those things for yourself, and determine if that's what your issue is.
One last thing: It's not a good idea to try to hook up with other people for sexual release unless your girlfriend is somehow okay with it. You should probably talk about this with her, or just break up. It's disrespectful of her person if you can't be honest with her about this.