I don't think you can blame your mom entirely for wanting (wishing) things to be other than what they are. Sounds like he was a real handful growing up and remains difficult, and she's resigned to it and pressures you to do the same.
That said, I'd guess he won't change because, sadly, he gets a lot of power out of being the fly in the family ointment. And he is jealous of you.
You are perfectly within your rights to limit your exposure to his negative, immature and nasty behaviour, for the sake of your family & children, as well as your own.
If that means no contact thats your call - you are just protecting your family. You don't have to agree or go along with your mom to understand where she is coming from. Nor do you need to take responsibility for your brother's behaviour or change it (cause you can't).
I think you can just reassure your mom of your love and that of her grandchildren's, provide a home that is open to her - and be guilt free about letting go of what you have no responsibility for or control over.
Is it normal to have an a**hole brother?
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I don't think you can blame your mom entirely for wanting (wishing) things to be other than what they are. Sounds like he was a real handful growing up and remains difficult, and she's resigned to it and pressures you to do the same.
That said, I'd guess he won't change because, sadly, he gets a lot of power out of being the fly in the family ointment. And he is jealous of you.
You are perfectly within your rights to limit your exposure to his negative, immature and nasty behaviour, for the sake of your family & children, as well as your own.
If that means no contact thats your call - you are just protecting your family. You don't have to agree or go along with your mom to understand where she is coming from. Nor do you need to take responsibility for your brother's behaviour or change it (cause you can't).
I think you can just reassure your mom of your love and that of her grandchildren's, provide a home that is open to her - and be guilt free about letting go of what you have no responsibility for or control over.