I actually read the entire rant, and I have to say, it sounds a bit like you're angry at yourself for feeling this way, as well as angry at the girl you've been talking to for "leading you on."
Frankly, your secondary comments above (about the cold, fat, fingers) suggest that your dislike is not just about arousal, but a certain abhorrence. Yes, I read that you "have fat friends," but after the rant, that comes off sounding a bit like "I'm not racist because I have black friends, I just don't like [insert racist epithet here]." It's a little less believable after your secondary comments.
Before your secondary comments, I wished that you could try just once to let it go, but after the secondary comments, I don't feel that way. Let her go and let her find someone who can love her.
Something to think about: Weight gain frequently happens with age, especially for women who have children. Yes, that's a generalization, but it does often hold true. So just be aware that even if you find the thin girl of your dreams, she may change over the years. And constantly pushing her to keep her weight down and taking food from out from under her will only piss her off. You Have Been Warned.
If I'm not physically attracted though, am I supposed to just force myself to change? I'm not necessarily angry at anyone. I have no ill feelings towards the girl - I just wish that for their sake, they'd pay attention, because I don't enjoy leading people on. I'm a nice guy who doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings (and I never told her I wasn't attracted to her, due to that reason). It has more to do with others who react so negatively to what I am or aren't attracted to. They like to tell me how shallow I am, or how I can't appreciate someone for their inner beauty and personality (which I can, and do, but only as friends because of the physical attraction factor). I like skinny girls, girls who my chub-loving buddies call anorexic twigs. Why aren't they scrutinized the same way as I am, for not being attracted to skinny girls? Aren't they being shallow? Why don't the skinny girls and skinny-lovers go to those people and give them a hard time? Why is it that only the guys who don't want to date chubby girls are the oes who get put down in society for being shallow assholes? I'm just trying to understand it, that's all. People come in all shapes, sizes, colors, etc., and thus, we all like different things - It's in our nature, it's diversity, and there's nothing wrong with it. If we all liked the same exact thing, the world would be full of a bunch of the same plain and boring identical people.
As for girls gaining weight during pregnancy, I fully understand that, and it's to be expected. However, if a girl cares enough about her body, she'll lose the weight afterwards (or a good portion of it), without me having to take food away from her (which sounds a tad asshole-ish, and I wouldn't do that). If I have enough self-control to keep my weight in check, why can't she? If I ate the way I wanted to, I'd be over 200lbs (and it actually happened once, and I wasn't happy with how I looked or felt). I'd instead like to focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle, together - Eating nutritious organic foods, drinking plenty of water, going out or walks, etc. Is that such a bad ideal for life?
Is it normal to have a sexual aversion to chubby girls? Am I shallow?
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I actually read the entire rant, and I have to say, it sounds a bit like you're angry at yourself for feeling this way, as well as angry at the girl you've been talking to for "leading you on."
Frankly, your secondary comments above (about the cold, fat, fingers) suggest that your dislike is not just about arousal, but a certain abhorrence. Yes, I read that you "have fat friends," but after the rant, that comes off sounding a bit like "I'm not racist because I have black friends, I just don't like [insert racist epithet here]." It's a little less believable after your secondary comments.
Before your secondary comments, I wished that you could try just once to let it go, but after the secondary comments, I don't feel that way. Let her go and let her find someone who can love her.
Something to think about: Weight gain frequently happens with age, especially for women who have children. Yes, that's a generalization, but it does often hold true. So just be aware that even if you find the thin girl of your dreams, she may change over the years. And constantly pushing her to keep her weight down and taking food from out from under her will only piss her off. You Have Been Warned.
--
EnergyShift
11 years ago
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If I'm not physically attracted though, am I supposed to just force myself to change? I'm not necessarily angry at anyone. I have no ill feelings towards the girl - I just wish that for their sake, they'd pay attention, because I don't enjoy leading people on. I'm a nice guy who doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings (and I never told her I wasn't attracted to her, due to that reason). It has more to do with others who react so negatively to what I am or aren't attracted to. They like to tell me how shallow I am, or how I can't appreciate someone for their inner beauty and personality (which I can, and do, but only as friends because of the physical attraction factor). I like skinny girls, girls who my chub-loving buddies call anorexic twigs. Why aren't they scrutinized the same way as I am, for not being attracted to skinny girls? Aren't they being shallow? Why don't the skinny girls and skinny-lovers go to those people and give them a hard time? Why is it that only the guys who don't want to date chubby girls are the oes who get put down in society for being shallow assholes? I'm just trying to understand it, that's all. People come in all shapes, sizes, colors, etc., and thus, we all like different things - It's in our nature, it's diversity, and there's nothing wrong with it. If we all liked the same exact thing, the world would be full of a bunch of the same plain and boring identical people.
--
EnergyShift
11 years ago
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pl
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As for girls gaining weight during pregnancy, I fully understand that, and it's to be expected. However, if a girl cares enough about her body, she'll lose the weight afterwards (or a good portion of it), without me having to take food away from her (which sounds a tad asshole-ish, and I wouldn't do that). If I have enough self-control to keep my weight in check, why can't she? If I ate the way I wanted to, I'd be over 200lbs (and it actually happened once, and I wasn't happy with how I looked or felt). I'd instead like to focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle, together - Eating nutritious organic foods, drinking plenty of water, going out or walks, etc. Is that such a bad ideal for life?