Is it normal to have a male as my bff

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4 Comments

My best friend is the opposite sex as me. I've known him for 14 years half my life. He was raied by his mom aunt and sister, no males. So he's really in touch with his feminine side. I however am a bit butch like, But I'm straight. Anyways we tell each other most everything and we can give real hard advice or even correct each other. Example dude you need to suck in the gut or you look like shit. Any ways it's not offencesive because it's not like were in a romantic relationship. He's married and I am dating other guys.
Honestly even if we were both single I could Not put up with him as a partner (or vise versa). We tell each other I love you. And are very close. Some people accept it others don't. I wouldn't care what others think but it is causing major trouble in my current love life.

Is It Normal?
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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    The problem is with the guy in your romantic love life (I'll call him Romeo).

    It's understandable that Romeo could have problems & feel threatened with your continuing relations with a former lover. And you'd want to respect their feelings.

    But this is so clearly a deep & long standing platonic friendship.

    If Romeo can't make friends and/or accept this fellow - which is the only constructive answer - he has real big trust issues & is putting you in the position of having to make a no-win choice for yourself.

    That quite frankly is a shitty thing to do. But since Romeo is putting you there - rather than being a secure man and respecting your friends - I'd say: cut him loose.

    Romeo has a choice: grow up or get lost. You have to stand up for yourself (and your friend) by not being emotionally bullied and manipulated like this. And if you give in to Romeo on this you'll just resent it.

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  • Ihave2try
    13 years ago | pl

    My bff is also male, gay, so I don't have any love problems there. Whatever you do don't leave ur bff over a dude!

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  • Bells
    13 years ago | pl

    Yes, its normal. Maybe unusual, but it really is okay... Just tell the guys in your love life to get over their insecurity or whatever and to deal with it.

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  • westoptic
    8 years ago | pl

    Totally normal. My 3 absolute best friends who I've grown up with and known for over 16 years are all guys. Never been sexually attracted to or romantically involved with any of them. One of them used to sleep on my floor when he'd stay over at my place for the night. He did this when we were 11 until we were probably 19 and we'd stay up late and talk about everything. The only people who say you can't have guy friends without them wanting to fuck you are shallow scummy people who can't be friends with the opposite sex without trying to get into their pants.

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